he’s been sleeping with other girls

Oh my gosh, I am so heartbroken reading your story. It hits so close to home, and I want you to know you are NOT alone and you are certainly NOT stupid. Feeling this way is a completely natural reaction to such a profound betrayal. When someone you care about deeply, someone you've built plans with, shatters your trust like this, it feels like your entire world tilts. That line, 'we weren't technically dating,' is such a classic gaslighting tactic. It's designed to make you question your reality and feel like you're the one who misunderstood, when in fact, he was being deceitful. Exclusivity isn't always about a label; it's about mutual understanding, respect, and trust in the commitment you share, whatever form it takes. You communicated your exclusivity, and he violated it. His tears and begging for a second chance, especially after blaming you, often come from a place of wanting to avoid consequences, not necessarily genuine remorse. True remorse involves taking full responsibility, not deflecting blame. I've been there, staring at a message that promises 'I am willing to do whatever it takes to gain your trust back.' It sounds good, right? But the reality is, gaining trust back after infidelity is an incredibly long, painful, and often impossible journey. It requires complete transparency, consistent effort, and a deep understanding of the pain caused, none of which usually comes from someone who blamed you initially. It's not on you to fix him or to force him to change. Change has to come from within, and it takes a monumental shift in character and behavior. When trust is breached so deeply, you have to protect your heart. Ask yourself: Can I truly believe anything he says now? Will I constantly be questioning his whereabouts, his phone, his intentions? Living with that level of anxiety is exhausting and detrimental to your well-being. It's okay to still love him, but love alone isn't enough to sustain a healthy relationship when fundamental trust is gone. If you were to consider a 'second chance,' which is a huge 'if,' it would need to be on YOUR terms, and it would involve: Full Transparency: Access to his phone, social media, everything. No more secrets. Accountability: No more blaming you. He needs to own his actions completely. Professional Help: Individual therapy for him to understand why he cheated, and couples therapy if you both decide to explore rebuilding, though that comes much later. Time: Healing takes a long, long time, and there are no shortcuts. Remember, you deserve someone who values your trust, respects your commitment, and is honest with you. This isn't a reflection of your worth; it's a reflection of his character. Focus on healing, lean on your support system, and know that you will get through this. Your heart will mend, and you'll find happiness with someone who truly deserves you.