Biggest fear….. being alone until my daughter 🪽
So far as long as I can remember, which I learned came from, I guess childhood abandonment issues. My mother died when I was 7 very drastically very quickly and I was about in my 20s when my father passed which haven’t rather quickly too and my daughter literally it was a overnight situation that being said I used to get so mad with God like Why don’t I have the confidence to be content by myself? Why do I always feel like I need to have a friend or a companion or I’m from West Africa 🇨🇲, so we’re big on family so I thought I found the fix. I’ll make my own family and lil village of friends.
Family is extremely big to me.
I’m sitting here looking back at the fact that I went from not even being able to tolerate the thought of time alone.
🙏🏾God bless me with someone that I thought I would be able to take care of and though because she was born with Hydrocephalus and she had a rare situation where half of her brain was undeveloped, and she was also blind so clearly she was a beautiful child that needed all my care attention and I was completely ready to give up my life and do that and when I got there and I prayed on it and I thought I made peace with everything of not being able to hang out with friends or just not being and I guess a typical mom because with her it would take a little bit more. I was ready for it. I thank God for it because I knew I’ll never be alone. I don’t need a man. I have my kid and just like that overnight she was gone and it was like I was facing, not only losing her but my deepest fear living the rest of my life alone. And then one day I was able to take my emotions and truly kind of reflect on everything I’ve been through. He didn’t put me through anything that it wasn’t for me to be a better woman I need to overcome my fear of not being able to be alone now I’m able to stay a day even a week completely by myself and be consent and though I do get lonely, nothing is lonely than having a house full of people and still feeling alone. Everything that I almost thought would break me, especially with losing my daughter was actually all of my low self-esteem issues, my non-confidence issues my childhood issues it was offered me to elevate and be a better person.
#mybiggestfear #letgo #overcame #motherhood #griefjourney #grievingmother #lossofachild #ripbabygirl #hydrocephalus #trustingod
Experiencing loss, especially of a child, can be a deeply isolating journey filled with grief and loneliness. It's common for parents to fear being alone, particularly when support networks seem to diminish after such a tragedy. In navigating through grief, many find solace in self-reflection, fostering resilience and understanding of one’s emotional landscape. The act of grieving can lead to profound realizations about self-worth and the strength that lies within us. Engaging in therapy or support groups can help people process their emotions healthily. Sharing stories with others who have faced similar losses can be cathartic, offering a sense of community and understanding. Many parents also say that finding new routines or hobbies can aid in healing, promoting a sense of normalcy amidst chaos. Faith and spiritual practices often provide comfort during these challenging times. Whether through prayer, meditation, or connecting with nature, these practices can help individuals find peace and a sense of belonging, even in solitude. As one learns to embrace alone time, it becomes an opportunity for personal growth, reflection, and rediscovery. Ultimately, facing the fear of being alone can transform one’s life. By leaning into solitude, many discover it as a space for self-discovery, allowing for emotional growth and profound insights into what truly matters in life. This journey takes time, compassion, and a deep commitment to one’s healing process.
