I FORCED MYSELF TO GAIN 20 POUNDS... Here's Why...
A few years ago I was in an extremely toxic relationship with someone who was always encouraging me to stay skinny. I was pushed to work out often and watch what I ate. That combined with already having a very high metabolism due to the genetics of my family and social media pressure as an influencer led me to develop a very low BMI.
When your BMI is too low and your body perceives that it is starving it will start to perform certain functions differently which in my case caused me to have health issues.
I was 5 foot and 6 inches tall with a total weight of 100 pounds. My BMI was 16 and considered severely underweight. I was often dizzy / feeling light headed, I was often tired and low energy, I needed to snack every hour or so. I had hormone imbalances, mood swings, no menstrual cycle and other issues.
I started to get made fun of for looking like a skeleton which made my self esteem go even lower. Meanwhile my partner would tell me not to talk to my family or others about my issues. But one day I woke up and I realized that the person I was with DID NOT want what was best for me. Despite working in healthcare he continually acted in ways that made me sick so that "no one else would want me". It was my own research and actually watching tiktoks that inevitably saved me and helped me get a different perspective.
I still didn't realize my weight was a problem at the time I left that relationship but I believe this was the turning point for me and when I started to become a stronger person; physically and especially mentally. I worked on myself A LOT. I started developing myself as a person, focusing on my relationship with god and not giving into the instant gratification culture. I raised my standards, changed how I dated and continued on to meet someone who truly loves me and is worthy of me.
Following that I went to many doctors, even a naturopath and therapists. No one could really give me a solution for the multitude of symptoms I had. But one day I landed on a search result on Google that told me what I had been needing to know which was that I needed a body transformation! So I set out to gain weight. It was very difficult at first, it was like my body didn't want to gain weight but eventually with lots of cooking, eating and working out strategically for 4 hours a day I reached my goal of 120 pounds. After doing this my symptoms dissipated and I felt much better. Sometimes gaining weight can be the answer contrary to what is pushed in the online world. On this journey I have learned that a low BMI can actually affect fertility and being able to get pregnant which is big for me since I want many healthy children.
I still look skinny, looking back now I see how skinny I was before. If you are still reading this my message to you is to always aim to maintain a healthy weight for yourself. Too much weight isn't good and neither is too little. Also don't listen to all the body transformation posts that show girls miraculously developing this skinny perfectly shaped waist. All of these types of transformations I have seen online are a combination of photo editing and plastic surgery and I would know because I considered both and know how they work. Especially being a content creator I see it daily. Everyone's body is different and what worked for one person likely won't work for you, you are on your own journey.
AND don't be with a man who tells you exactly how your body should look. That's something I REALLY wish I learned sooner! It ALWAYS comes from an inner insecurity of theirs and is never healthy for you. It's okay for your body to change (within reason of course) and it's also okay for your partner to want you to be healthy generally (for example if you gain 200 pounds and they are concerned). But the extreme of that or anyone who tells you to get any work done on your breasts, buttox, face etc doesn't want what's best for you, trust me.
Let me know your thoughts on this topic in the comments ❤️
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Reflecting on my journey, I realize many of you might be wondering, 'How exactly did I gain those 20 pounds, especially when my body felt resistant?' It wasn't just about eating more; it was about eating smart and moving *intentionally*. For me, this meant focusing on nutrient-dense foods: healthy fats like avocados and nuts, complex carbohydrates like sweet potatoes and whole grains, and plenty of protein sources like chicken, fish, and legumes. I stopped restricting myself and started enjoying the process of 'making my own food,' cooking nourishing meals that actually fueled my body instead of just filling it. My metabolism was high, so snacking every 2-3 hours with calorie-dense options became crucial. When it came to 'strategic working out,' I shifted from cardio-heavy routines, which my body perceived as stress, to strength training. Lifting weights helped build muscle mass, which contributed to a healthier weight and a more toned, resilient physique. I aimed for full-body workouts 3-4 times a week, ensuring adequate recovery. It wasn't about becoming a bodybuilder, but about feeling strong and capable. And 'what did gaining 20 pounds look like' for me? It wasn't a sudden, dramatic change, but a gradual transformation that brought immense relief. Initially, my clothes fit better – I filled out my frame, no longer feeling like a 'skeleton' as I once was described. My energy levels soared; the constant dizziness and fatigue vanished. My mood stabilized, and crucially, my menstrual cycle returned, a huge indicator of improved hormonal health and fertility. Looking back at photos, I can clearly see the difference. My 'unfiltered self' now radiates a healthier glow, a stark contrast to the tired look I carried before. It wasn't about looking 'bigger,' but looking alive and vibrant. For anyone asking 'is 120 pounds underweight,' especially for someone around 5'7" (like I once was, though a bit shorter), it depends on individual factors, but 100 pounds at 5'6" was definitely severely underweight for me, leading to a BMI of 16. My goal of 120 pounds brought my BMI into a healthy range, and that's where my body truly thrived. It’s a powerful reminder that numbers aren't everything, but they can be a critical indicator of underlying health. My advice? If you're struggling with a low BMI or unexplained symptoms like fatigue, hormone imbalances, or loss of cycle, don't dismiss the idea that gaining weight could be your answer. Consult with healthcare professionals who prioritize your overall well-being, not just societal ideals. Focus on nourishing your body, building strength, and embracing your 'unfiltered self' – the one that feels genuinely healthy and happy.
