I recently received bad news

I've had severe back pain for so many years now. I kept being told by doctor after doctor that it would go away if I lost weight so I did everything I could to lose weight. No matter how much I lost or gained my pain never went away.

Recently I hurt my back pretty badly. I experienced symptoms I hadn't before. My legs kept tingling. My legs kept going numb. I even experienced incontinence at one point. I kept going back to the ER because something just wasn't right but they kept turning me away.

That is, until I went to a hospital in Atlanta. They kept me overnight. They did an mri of my lower back.

The doctor saw me the following morning.

I have tumors in my lower back in the spinal canal where my nerves and spinal cord are.

All the pain and symptoms I've experienced for years but never put two and two together finally made sense. The tumor. It's pressing on my nerves and is very close to affecting my cord itself.

The emergency room doctor told me it's crucial I get surgery to remove the tumors asap. I'm close to being a severe case. They couldn't perform the surgery then and there because my life isn't in danger- but my legs are.

I've had a lot of emotions these past several days. A lot of anger. A lot of worry. A lot of sadness. If doctors didn't dismiss me for so long then I wouldn't need surgery most likely. We could've caught this sooner and I wouldn't have to be in a wheelchair everytime I leave the house. I'd be able to run around with my kids and play with them. I'd be able to do so much more had the doctors just listened when I told them my pain isn't just normal obesity pains. Now I'm at risk of permanent damage or worse: paralysis.

I'm scared.

#sadissurgery #scaredtodeath #losing #embracevulnerability #unfiltered