I struggle to watch Blue come into her own with Beyonce on the stage because me and my mom were just like that until the church ruined all of it, along with my life. The church discouraged her from letting me shine, it discouraged her from shining. All they’ve ever cared about is what I’m wearing instead of holding space and lifting me up. I watched shiny happy people crying because the girl that got kicked off that praise team is me. Too black, too beautiful, and too much. I struggle every day to recover from the abuse i sustained in church and its demon purity culture ruined everything i admire the way Beyonce protects and uplifts her baby… and it breaks my heart that my church broke me and my mother to the point where i will never have this experience.

If you have experienced similar let me know in the comments. Let’s heal or whatever the next step looks like… together.

2025/7/28 Edited to

... Read moreIt breaks my heart to know how many of us have similar stories when it comes to church experiences and the damaging effects of purity culture. When I shared my initial thoughts, I wanted to open a conversation, and seeing that many of you are looking for 'e2 church reviews' or similar insights, I realize how important it is to talk more about this. The silence around these topics only allows the cycle of spiritual abuse to continue. For me, it wasn't just about what I wore, though that was a constant point of scrutiny. It was about being told my natural talent and joy, especially when performing, was 'too much' or a 'stumbling block' for others. As an autistic child, my way of expressing myself was often vibrant, uninhibited, and deeply connected to my identity. The church's constant emphasis on modesty, conformity, and suppressing my 'shine' felt like a direct attack on my authentic self. It wasn't just about my inherent beauty or talent; it was about controlling who I was, turning my mother and me against our own instincts to protect ourselves and each other. We were both deemed 'too much' - too beautiful, too talented, too expressive – and the church's fear-based doctrine systematically suppressed us. If you're reading this because you're considering a new church, or perhaps you're researching places like 'E2 Church' and want to hear real experiences, please pay attention to the subtle, often insidious, signs of purity culture and spiritual control. Purity culture isn't always obvious; it often masquerades as 'holiness,' 'protection,' or 'godly standards.' Look for environments where individual expression is genuinely celebrated, not subtly stifled or judged. Does the leadership empower women and young girls to lead and find their voices, or does it try to keep them 'in their place' with rigid gender roles? Are questions and critical thinking encouraged, or is genuine dissent immediately shut down and labeled as rebellion? True spiritual growth should foster authenticity, personal agency, and a deep sense of self-worth, not conformity that systematically breaks your spirit and your relationships. The journey to heal from spiritual abuse, especially from purity culture, is incredibly challenging and often long. I'm still very much on it. One thing that helps immensely is actively reclaiming what was taken. For me, that's embracing my voice and my performance, just like I did freely as a child with my mom. It means finding spaces where being 'too beautiful' or 'too talented' isn't a threat, but a celebrated gift. It means rebuilding trust in myself and in genuine connection. Connecting with others who understand, who have walked similar paths, has been an absolute lifeline. My hope is that by sharing our stories, we can all find the courage to heal, to shine brightly as our authentic selves, and to build communities that truly lift each other up with unconditional love and acceptance, rather than tear us down with fear, shame, and judgment. Remember, your true self, your unique talents, and your inherent joy are sacred. Don't let anything or anyone dim that powerful light.

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