I have a theory…
Some predators don’t see a plus size woman. They see someone they assume has low self esteem. They confuse weight with desperation, and that’s exactly what they’re hoping for.
The funny part? My confidence and my beauty were never tied to my weight. Their assumptions were.
So I tested my own theory.
I lost 33 pounds.
Almost immediately, my DMs slowed down, fewer men started pursuing me, and it confirmed exactly what I suspected. Some people weren’t interested in me. They were interested in who they assumed I was.
I’ve also noticed another pattern. Some predators assume that if you’re successful, single, and don’t have kids, you’re desperate to hit those milestones. They think you’ll overlook red flags just to say you have a relationship or a family.
Again… wrong person.
Have you ever noticed people projecting their assumptions onto you before they even get to know you? 👀
From personal experience, I've found that societal expectations and stereotypes often distort how people perceive others, particularly when it comes to weight and life milestones like relationships or parenthood. Many individuals unconsciously assume that plus size women or highly successful singles who haven't reached traditional milestones are somehow 'desperate' or have low self-esteem. This assumption creates a misleading narrative that can affect how these individuals are treated or pursued romantically. In my own journey, I noticed that after losing weight, the change in attention I received was not because my confidence or worth had altered, but because some individuals' interest was actually tied to the assumptions they had made about my state of mind and self-perception. This realization was eye-opening because it revealed that their attraction was not genuine interest in me but rather based on their projections. People often overlook the complexity behind a person's life story, success, or weight. Many forget that confidence and self-worth come from within and are not dictated by external factors like weight or relationship status. In fact, these stereotypes can be harmful, as they reduce people to simplified roles based on shallow observations. It's important to challenge these misconceptions. Being plus size or single and successful does not mean someone is more likely to overlook red flags or settle out of desperation. On the contrary, many individuals hold strong boundaries and know their value independently from societal pressures. If you recognize these patterns in your life or notice how assumptions cloud others' judgments, remember that your worth is not defined by what others presume. True connection comes from being seen for who you truly are, beyond stereotypes and projected narratives. Understanding these dynamics helps empower self-esteem and fosters healthier interactions, reminding us all to look deeper and avoid falling into the trap of judging others based on appearances or preconceived notions.