Am I being unfair, or just holding them to the sam

My parents always said if we went to school, we could live at home rent-free. I’m still in community college, work two part-time jobs, and pay my own bills. My brother dropped his job, lives in an apartment an hour away, and my parents give him $2,100/month for rent, food, and gas.

Now they’re asking me to pay rent because they’re “struggling” — but they refuse to ask him for a dime. I told them I’m not paying rent until he does.

Am I being unfair, or just holding them to the same rules they gave us?

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2025/8/27 Edited to

... Read moreNavigating family finances can be tricky, especially when there appears to be an unequal distribution of support among siblings. Many families face similar challenges where one child receives more financial assistance than another, leading to feelings of unfairness and frustration. In your situation, your parents initially promised rent-free living for both you and your brother while you attended school, highlighting a clear expectation. However, the reality shows a different scenario: your brother moved out, dropped his job, and receives $2,100 monthly from your parents for rent, food, and gas, while you keep working two jobs and paying your own bills. Now, your parents say they’re “struggling” and want you to start paying rent, yet they do not require your brother to contribute. It’s understandable to question this disparity since fairness and consistency are important in family dynamics. When resolving such conflicts, it's crucial to communicate openly and set clear boundaries. Consider discussing these concerns directly with your parents, asking them to clarify why support differs and whether they plan to adjust arrangements to be equitable. Sharing your responsibilities and financial commitments can help illustrate your position and promote understanding. This situation also highlights the emotional and financial strain that parents might experience, which can affect decisions about supporting children differently. While it’s important to maintain fairness, empathy for your parents’ circumstances may also help foster a constructive conversation. Ultimately, holding them to the same rules they originally set is not only reasonable but also a healthy approach to ensure transparency and respect within the family. Setting expectations encourages accountability for all parties and can prevent resentment. Seeking advice from trusted friends or family counselors may also provide valuable perspectives and strategies for handling family financial discussions more effectively. Remember, your feelings of unfair treatment are valid, and finding balance is key. Advocating for yourself while remaining open to dialogue can lead to resolutions that honor both fairness and family relationships.

9 comments

Kayla 🍄🌙's images
Kayla 🍄🌙

They wouldn’t be struggling if they stopped giving his bum ass money

Benelli’s Mommy's images
Benelli’s Mommy

I’m a mom- an older mom with grown children. I can’t imagine having different standards for my children. I think you should prepare and sit down and have a conversation with them. Explain it just like you told us. ThiS is not fair to you. Your brother needs to find a job and find an apartment he can afford. You’re working, going to school, saving money and paying your bills. It shouldn’t be on you to pay rent, simply because your brother doesn’t have his shit together.

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