The most essential skill in people management? 🤔
This is a bit of a rant post so pardon the subtle negative energy hahah.
I would try to be neutral and objective but I think the rant itself can be a little negative in nature.
Anyway! The reason I was ‘inspired’ to write about this post is because I was recently watching a people leader’s sharing session and had some discussions with peers about policy changes in their companies.
These conversations revolved around how decisions were communicated:
How leaders frame their messages, the reasoning they provide, and how they justify things.
And then, I picked up on a common theme.
Half of what these leaders say can easily be perceived as BS hahaha.
Not because what they’re saying is necessarily wrong, but because everyone has their own perspectives and agendas. And when those don’t align, the other person’s words start to feel like nonsense.
To some, whatever the leader said sounded like excuses and justifications, despite their best efforts to frame things nicely.
Talking about “benefiting more people,” “aligning with long-term goals,” and so on. Honestly, it almost felt like a form of gaslighting. Actually, you know what? It probably is, hahaha.
Of course, some people buy into these explanations. Whether they genuinely believe them or are just playing along to climb the corporate ladder… idk. Maybe they’ve been gaslit so well that they don’t even realize it hahaha.
After working for a number of years, I’ve come to realize that gaslighting exists everywhere at work.
It almost feels like an aftereffect of a “good persuasion” attempt. If you can’t fully convince someone to support your idea, you confuse and gaslight instead hahaha.
In fact, I’d argue that managers need to be good at gaslighting to be considered “good” managers. At the end of the day, they’re just salaried employees too.
They report to someone, and that someone reports to another.
Even CEOs have to answer to a board or shareholders.
Everyone has their own agenda, and they do what they need to do to push it forward.
That’s why, no matter how good a manager may seem, they’re only perceived as “good” when their perspectives align with yours.
When they don’t, that’s when the persuasion process starts.
And that’s when gaslighting feels the most obvious hahaha.
Their job is to find a way to convince you, even if you aren’t buying what they’re selling.
I used to think a manager needs to be empathetic, resourceful, good at communication, and more.
Now, I realized those are still important to have, but the most important skill in people manager is actually ‘gaslighting’ hahaha.
A more corporate, appropriate term is probably ‘the skill of persuasion’ 😆
If you can get people to follow whatever you said, regardless if they believe in it or not, you have won. Team members that cooperate + a team hitting their performance = a great manager.
I know this sounds a little satirical, but I really do think it’s true hahaha.
This isn’t meant to dissuade anyone from going into people management, it’s just a reality check. If you want to be a manager, build up your persuasion skills 💪🏻
I have decided that people management is not for me (more on that here).
Maybe that’s why I pick up on gaslighting attempts instead of just drinking the corporate Kool-Aid.
But hey, at the end of the day, work is work man. Life is so much more.
In my experience working in various team settings, I've noticed that effective communication and persuasion truly make or break the success of people management. It's not just about giving orders or enforcing policies; it's about crafting messages that resonate with diverse perspectives while aligning with organizational goals. While the term "gaslighting" might sound harsh, it sheds light on the subtle ways some leaders influence opinions even when true agreement isn't present. Authentic persuasion involves understanding your team's values and concerns to foster genuine buy-in rather than just compliance. Leaders who can transparently explain the rationale behind decisions and acknowledge different viewpoints tend to build stronger trust and engagement. For example, when managers clearly link policy changes to long-term benefits and demonstrate empathy for the team's situation, members are more likely to support the changes sincerely rather than just following along. I've also learned that developing persuasion skills can help managers navigate conflicting agendas without alienating their team. It’s about balancing assertiveness with openness, knowing when to persuade and when to listen. This skill helps prevent misunderstandings that lead to the perception of "nonsense" or "excessive justifications" described in the article. Ultimately, leadership is more effective when it fosters collaboration, respect, and honest communication. Investing time in building these interpersonal abilities not only improves team performance but also creates a healthier workplace atmosphere where people feel valued and motivated beyond mere obligation.
yeah you're right gaslighting is used typically in a workplace that can't find solutions to problems; but id like to think that in a place where leaders are actually competent of solving problems they don't have to gaslight their employees