MOM HOT TAKE: big feelings or manipulation?
kids aren’t dumb. they learn patterns like there’s no tomorrow. if they notice that screaming, crying, and throwing a fit gets them what they want… they’ll keep doing it. not because they’re BAD KIDS. but because it WORKS.
they love to test boundaries. they will see what limits they can reach until you cave. it can be emotional and strategic. and they always learning your dynamics. if you say “no” and then “fine you can have this” just for them to stop, it’s basically a negotiation. and i get it. sometimes you just want them to stop 🫠
let’s be consistent. yes we can acknowledge they have big feelings. but we can also say things like “i understand that you’re upset. but the answer is still no.” stop risking behavior that needs correction. no you don’t have to discipline your kids. let your yes be yes, and your no be no.
kids feel safest when they know where the line is.
letting them manipulate through emotions makes them more anxious long term, not more secure.
#momhottakes #lemon8challenge #tantrum #toddlerdevelopment #toddler
It's important to recognize that not every toddler tantrum stems from overwhelming emotions; some are strategic attempts to influence situations. Children quickly learn which behaviors yield results, especially when inconsistent responses occur—like saying no and then giving in just to end the meltdown. This pattern reinforces tantrums as negotiation tools rather than genuine expressions of distress. Acknowledging big feelings is essential, but maintaining consistency is key. Phrases like, “I understand you're upset, but the answer is still no,” validate a child's emotions while setting firm boundaries. This approach helps children feel safe because they learn exactly where the limits are, fostering emotional regulation and reducing anxiety. Allowing manipulation through emotional outbursts may provide short-term relief for parents, but it often leads to long-term insecurity for children. They thrive with predictable and stable environments where rules are clear and behavior expectations don’t fluctuate. Ultimately, emotional development and behavioral correction go hand in hand. Supporting kids in recognizing their emotions while teaching them appropriate ways to express needs prepares them for healthier social interactions as they grow. Being patient, consistent, and empathetic lays the foundation for respectful communication and stronger parent-child relationships.
Oh 10/10 they do be manipulating. You have to seriously observe them and the situation to help differentiate the two. Was watching my nieces play together let’s call them A and B. A was showing B her scab on her knee and told her how she got it and then explained how bad it hurt when it happened and that it still hurts. B straight up scratched her scab got A crying. When asked why she would do that she just said idk🤷🏻♀️. But then started crying and trying to make something up ON THE SPOT as to how she shouldn’t get in trouble for it. Like ma’am🤦🏻♀️