👩🏾❤️👨🏾Black girl dating advice 👩🏾❤️👨🏾
My experience dating as a black woman has been very disappointing because I always feel like I run into men ( black men specifically ) who always need a woman to save them, specifically a black woman because we remind them of their mom. we are expected to cater to them, build them up, hold them down, but we get nothing in return! Where is the love that we give out? When are we going to be treated and catered to and held the way that we give it to the world my advice is to never neglect yourself. if your standards are not being met or if you are not feeling the energy being reciprocated CUT 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾 OFF 👏🏾 I DON’T CARE HOW GOOD HE LOOKS OR WHAT HE TELLS YOU ABOUT THE FUTURE. THE ONLY FUTURE YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE IS ONE FULL OF REGRET BECAUSE YOU HELD ONTO PROMISES THAT WERE EMPTY! HOW LONG BEFORE YOU REALIZE YOU’RE WORTH SO MUCH MORE? #date #lemon8challenge #blackgirldating #kaliyah2x
Wow, reading that really hit home for me! As a Black woman, I’ve definitely walked a similar path, and it’s frustrating to constantly feel like you’re giving 150% in a relationship only to get scraps in return. The original post perfectly captures that feeling of being expected to be a mother, a therapist, and a financial advisor, all while supposedly being someone’s partner. What gives? It’s a cycle many of us know too well in Black girl dating. We’re often socialized to be strong, nurturing, and resilient – qualities that are beautiful but can unfortunately be exploited by those looking for a fixer, not an equal. We become the 'strong Black woman' archetype, and some men sadly lean into that, expecting us to carry the emotional and sometimes even financial load without question. It's exhausting, and it's not fair. So, how do we break free from this pattern? It starts with recognizing the signs early. When you're dating, pay attention if he consistently talks about his past struggles without showing any active steps to overcome them, or if he immediately starts laying out all his problems, hoping you'll jump in to solve them. Does he always mention needing a partner to 'help him get on his feet' or 'motivate him to do better'? These aren't necessarily red flags on their own, but if it feels like he's auditioning you for a role as his life coach rather than a romantic partner, that's a huge warning sign. Another big one is the 'potential' trap. We often cling to the idea of who a man could be, rather than who he *is*. He might be charming, good-looking, and full of promises for the future, but if his present actions don't align, those are just empty words. I learned the hard way that you can't build a future on 'potential'. You need present effort, present respect, and present reciprocity. Setting boundaries is crucial. It’s not about being mean; it’s about protecting your peace and energy. When you notice these patterns, don't shy away from having direct conversations. "I'm looking for a partnership where we both contribute equally," or "I'm here to support you, but I'm not here to solve your problems for you" are powerful statements. Observe how he reacts. A man truly interested in an equal partnership will listen and adjust; one looking for a savior will likely get defensive or dismissive. And yes, as hard as it can be, sometimes you truly need to cut them off. It takes immense courage, especially when you've invested time and emotions. But holding onto a relationship that drains you will only lead to more heartbreak and self-doubt. Remember that image of a Black woman confidently making a peace sign? That's the energy we need – peace, confidence, and knowing when to gracefully exit situations that don't serve us. Your worth isn't tied to how much you can fix someone else. It's inherent. Focus on building yourself up, nurturing your own dreams, and attracting someone who wants to walk with you, not just lean on you. You deserve a love that fills your cup, not empties it.
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