the people pleasing trap

Hey everyone! Following up on my journey to conquer people-pleasing, I wanted to share more about the hidden dangers of this trap and some practical steps I’ve taken to truly unlearn it. It's more than just saying 'yes' too often; it’s about whose approval you're really living for and the profound impact it has on your well-being. One of the biggest dangers I discovered is how people-pleasing can make you feel like you're constantly avoiding responsibility – not necessarily responsibility to others, but responsibility to *yourself*. When you're always trying to make others happy, you often neglect your own needs, dreams, and boundaries. I used to find myself agreeing to commitments I dreaded, simply to avoid disappointing someone. This led to burnout, resentment, and a deep sense of unfulfillment. It's like you're creating an illustration of someone perpetually overburdened, constantly giving away pieces of themselves until there's nothing left. This constant self-neglect is a powerful form of avoiding the responsibility of self-care and self-respect. The journey of unlearning people-pleasing really begins with recognizing these patterns. For me, a crucial step was to 'rewire the way I think,' as one of my slides mentioned. Instead of instinctively asking, 'What do they want from me?' I started asking, 'What do *I* genuinely feel called to do, and does this align with my purpose?' This shift wasn't easy. It involved a lot of introspection and prayer, reminding myself that 'even God can't please everyone,' so why was I putting that impossible pressure on myself? I started practicing setting small boundaries. It could be as simple as saying, 'Let me check my schedule and get back to you' instead of an immediate 'yes.' This gave me space to evaluate if the request truly aligned with my 'core values.' Standing strong in your core values is paramount. When you know what you believe in, what you stand for, and what truly matters to you, it becomes much easier to make decisions that honor yourself and, for me, honor God. This means recognizing that 'God made you to be you' – a unique individual with specific gifts and boundaries. Trying to be someone else, or a chameleon for every social situation, only diminishes the wonderful person you were created to be. Another aspect of unlearning is understanding that saying 'no' to one thing is often saying 'yes' to something more important – often, yourself or your true calling. It's about shifting from a fear of rejection to a desire for authenticity. This process helped me immensely in cultivating genuine relationships built on mutual respect, rather than on my constant need to perform or appease. If you're feeling trapped, remember that true freedom comes when you stop seeking external validation and start living authentically, rooted in your own convictions and, for me, in God's unconditional love.