Painting: To be a Daughter
-To Be a Daughter is an original painting I made with a matching poem to go with it. Based on my experience as a daughter-
To be a daughter
is to be born with strings already tied to your limbs,
everyone calling them pretty
while they pull until your bones ache.
Chains dipped in glitter,
sparkling so brightly
no one notices they still choke you.
Purity.
Innocence.
Sweet girl.
Good girl.
Titles shoved down my throat
before I even learned how to speak for myself.
A role forced into my hands at birth
like a contract signed in blood
that I never look agreed to.
Be soft.
Be quiet.
Be beautiful.
Take up less space.
Smile nicer.
Speak gentler.
Don’t be angry.
Don’t be difficult.
Don’t let them see the parts of you
that bleed.
They wanted perfection so badly
they carved pieces out of me to make it.
Every sharp edge sanded down,
every scream swallowed whole,
every ounce of rage stitched behind my teeth
until I became something easier to love.
A doll dressed in lace and obedience.
Many daughters find themselves navigating a labyrinth of expectations shaped by culture, family, and society at large. The painting and poem "To Be a Daughter" vividly capture the emotional confinement and complex layers behind the seemingly glittering roles assigned to women from birth. Reflecting on my own experiences, I resonate deeply with the metaphor of strings and chains — adorned in beauty yet constraining true freedom. Growing up, I was often told to "smile prettier" or to be "quiet and obedient," which while well-intentioned, felt like erasing parts of my authentic self. This piece reminds me that such social scripts about femininity—purity, softness, silence—can create invisible prisons. The sparkling chains, while dazzling to outside eyes, mask the pain and suppression beneath. Many women hide their anger, their raw emotions, assimilating to ideals to be "easier to love," as the poem describes. The contrast between external appearances and internal realities is a common, powerful theme in feminist art and literature. In contemporary society, there is growing recognition of the need to rewrite these narratives. More women and creators embrace showing emotional complexity, asserting space, and voicing anger and imperfection. Embracing feminine energy in all its forms—powerful, messy, passionate—is a radical act of self-love and defiance against rigid roles. Engaging with artworks like this encourages reflection on how identity is shaped and challenged, potentially inspiring individuals to reclaim their stories and honor their full humanity beyond externally imposed roles. It also highlights how art can provide an important outlet for personal and collective healing by giving voice to feelings often silenced.
This is exactly how it feels for me.