Rant #1: People Get on My Nerves
Common sense ain’t common…and that’s the tea!
I don’t know about yall, but I am tired of being the friend who is there for everyone when they need them BUT when I need someone they don’t know how to help.
I am tired of being the wife, partner, lover who has to have it all together
I am tired of being the adult child of parents who are still emotionally unavailable and STILL having to parent myself
I am tired of being the classmate/colleague who people come to when they need help with understanding the Black community
I am tired of being the only one in my life who seems to have their ish together while everyone around them walks around with their head in the clouds.
I too want to have my head in the clouds. I too, want to make decisions based on how I feel and not consider others.
I too, want to be selfish.
I too…want to NOT care.
I won’t change who I am…I’m just tired.
Rant over 😜
- k💖
I totally get where you’re coming from. There are days when I feel like I'm wearing a cape, constantly swooping in to be the 'strong friend' for everyone around me. It's truly exhausting, and sometimes, you just want to scream, 'Who's going to be my superhero for once?' This isn't just about people 'getting on your nerves'; it's about the deep, often unspoken, toll that constant emotional labor takes. It’s funny how we often fall into these roles. Maybe we’re natural empaths, or we’ve been conditioned to be the 'fixer' in every group. But being the perpetual supportive friendship backbone can take a serious toll on your mental and emotional health. I've learned the hard way that continuously pouring from an empty cup leads to burnout, resentment, and even feeling isolated, despite being surrounded by people. We often pride ourselves on being there for others, but at what cost to ourselves? One thing I've started doing, slowly but surely, is learning to set boundaries. It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly hard when you’re used to saying 'yes' to everyone. I used to feel guilty for saying 'no' to a late-night call or for not being able to solve someone’s crisis immediately. But 'no' is a complete sentence, and it’s okay to protect your peace. It's not about being selfish; it's about self-preservation. A truly supportive friendship understands and respects this need for space and self-care. It also took me a while to realize that sometimes, our friends and family genuinely don't know we're struggling because we're so good at putting on a brave face. I've had to practice vulnerability, which is terrifying! Saying, 'Hey, I'm going through a tough time and could really use an ear,' felt alien at first. But when I finally did, some incredible people stepped up. It showed me who truly understood the give-and-take of a healthy, supportive friendship. This 'Real Talk' about our struggles is essential for balanced relationships. That feeling of wanting to 'not care' is so real. It's not that we actually stop caring, but it's a cry for a break, a moment to just exist without the weight of others' burdens. It's a sign that you need to recharge your own emotional batteries. Finding small ways to be 'selfish' – whether it's an hour alone with a book, a long walk, or just disconnecting from social media – can be incredibly restorative. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it's okay to prioritize your own well-being. True supportive friendships are two-sided, and sometimes, you deserve to lean on others too. Let's keep this supportive friendship talk going and lift each other up!
