Glitter - A poem about grief
I don’t know when my life became a stack of losses
so tightly packed together
that I stopped being able to tell
where one ache ended and the next one began.
My body learned early to brace for impact—
to flinch before anything even fell apart.
Six times I carried a future
that vanished before it could breathe.
Six times I grieved quietly
because the world expected me to keep moving
even when my heart didn’t.
And the silence around me was louder
than any scream I could’ve made.
It’s a strange kind of loneliness—
to be surrounded by people
and still feel like no one can see
the funeral happening inside your chest.
But then the miracle I’d stopped daring to imagine
found its way to me.
My rainbow boy—
light wrapped in flesh,
joy I didn’t know I could still feel.
He cracked open a window in a room
I had learned to live in the dark.
For a moment, I breathed differently.
For a moment, I thought maybe the storm had passed.
And then my dad died.
And grief—old, familiar, relentless—
came roaring back through the space I’d opened for love.
Ten times heavier.
Ten times sharper.
As if every loss I’d ever swallowed
rose to the surface at once.
People I wanted most
were lost in their own shadows
so I learned again how to carry myself
through another collapse.
The thing no one tells you about grief
is that it isn’t linear.
It isn’t logical.
It’s glitter.
You can clean and scrub and sweep,
thinking you’ve finally gotten it all,
only to catch a small, sparkling speck on your fingertip
months later.
One you missed.
One you didn’t expect.
One that reminds you—
you spilled something beautiful and devastating once.
And just when you think you’ve made peace with the quiet,
you move the sofa to vacuum
and there it is—glitter.
A flash of pain you thought you were done with.
A memory you weren’t prepared to feel.
A reminder that grief hides in the corners
you don’t think to look under.
I’ve lived long enough now to understand:
grief never disappears.
It settles.
It waits.
It shimmers back into view
when life shifts just enough
to expose what you thought you’d already cleaned up.
And through it all,
I’m still here—
not healed, not undone,
just a woman made of shadow and light,
a mother who’s carried death and life in the same body,
a heart learning to hold both joy and devastation
without collapsing.
I’ve lost more than I ever should have.
I’ve broken in ways that will never fully smooth out.
And still—
some stubborn, burning part of me
rises anyway.
Haunted, yes.
But also shining.
Like glitter.
The kind you never really get rid of.
Grief is often described in many ways, but likening it to 'glitter' is a unique and powerful metaphor that captures its elusive, lingering nature. This poem reflects the complex reality that grief isn’t straightforward or easily managed; instead, it's a collection of sharp, sudden feelings appearing unannounced even after time has passed. The poem illustrates how grief can be compounded by multiple losses, such as miscarriage and the death of a parent, leading to emotional exhaustion and profound loneliness. This experience is common among those who have faced compounded grief, feeling invisible while surrounded by others. It highlights the social expectation to keep moving forward despite pain, which often suppresses genuine healing. The metaphor of glitter conveys that grief leaves marks that are impossible to clean away completely. Like sparkling specks that appear unexpectedly in daily life, grief resurfaces in small triggers—a memory, an anniversary, or simply an ordinary moment rearranged. These moments remind us that grief is a lifelong companion that reshapes instead of disappearing. Understanding grief as non-linear is crucial for healing. Recognizing that feelings may ebb and flow without warning helps validate the mourner’s experience and reduces feelings of failure for not adhering to a 'timeline.' This openness allows space for joy and devastation to coexist, as expressed through the poem’s powerful imagery of a 'woman made of shadow and light.' The poem also touches on the unique grief of pregnancy loss, a painful and often silent sorrow that many endure without adequate support. Mentioning the 'rainbow boy' symbolizes hope and unexpected joy despite previous losses, reflecting the complexity of emotions intertwined within grief. For anyone navigating grief, this poem offers solace by acknowledging the enduring presence of loss alongside moments of love and shining hope. It encourages embracing the full spectrum of emotion, understanding that resilience doesn't mean the absence of pain, but the capacity to hold both joy and sorrow together. Sharing such authentic stories fosters community and understanding among those affected by loss. Discussions tagged with #griefjourney and #loss remind us that we are not alone. Connecting with others through shared experiences can provide support and comfort on this difficult path. In practical terms, grieving individuals may find it helpful to seek compassionate support networks such as counseling, grief support groups, or trusted friends and family. Honoring the unpredictable nature of grief by allowing oneself permission to feel all aspects without judgment is part of the ongoing healing process. Ultimately, grief transformed into 'glitter' is an evocative symbol of both the profound impact loss leaves behind and the resilient spirit that continues to shine through darkness.