Does God Really Expect Me to Forgive?
This is a question many survivors are afraid to ask out loud. After sexual assault, forgiveness can feel impossible- I mean unfair. And if we’re honest, sometimes it feels like God is asking for too much.
Here’s what I’ve learned on my healing journey:
God does not rush your healing and He does not demand forgiveness while ignoring your pain.
Nor is He offended by your questions, anger, or tears.
Forgiveness in scripture is not pretending it didn’t hurt; it’s not reconciliation and it’s not excusing what was done. Forgiveness is trusting God with justice, while you focus on healing. Healing comes before forgiveness—not the other way around.
God sees the violation.
He sees the confusion.
He sees the parts of you still trying to feel safe again and He is gentle with the brokenhearted.
If you’re not ready to forgive yet, that does not make you disobedient. It makes you human—and still deeply loved.
Scripture to sit with:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
#HealingAfterAssault #FaithAndTrauma #ForgivenessJourney #ChristianHealing #SurvivorVoices
As someone who has walked the difficult road of healing after trauma, I can relate deeply to the feelings expressed here. Forgiveness often feels like a mountain too steep to climb, especially when the wounds are so raw and the pain so fresh. What helped me was understanding that God’s love doesn’t demand immediate forgiveness; instead, it invites us to be honest with our feelings — anger, confusion, sadness — all are welcome in His presence. In my experience, embracing the reality that forgiveness is not about excusing harm but about releasing the burden of pain into God’s hands was liberating. I remember struggling with the misconception that I needed to forgive quickly to be a 'good Christian,' but this article reminded me that healing takes time and that God is patient. He is gentle with the brokenhearted and honors every tear. One powerful step was holding onto scriptures like Psalm 34:18, which reassured me that I was not alone in my suffering; God was close to me when I felt crushed in spirit. Faith became a safe refuge and a source of strength rather than another expectation to meet. If you’re on a similar journey and wonder if you must forgive immediately, take heart: you are human, and your feelings are valid. Focus first on your healing — seeking help, speaking your truth, and allowing space for grace. Forgiveness can come later, when and if it feels right, grounded in trust that God will bring justice in His perfect timing. This perspective reshaped my healing journey and may offer hope and comfort to many survivors questioning what forgiveness truly means in the context of faith and trauma.