Is 19 too young to start trying? 🍼
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. We’re both 19 and he’s in the military making good money. Up until now, any time we’ve had sex we’ve used contraceptives (condoms and birth control)
We both know having a child this young can be difficult, but in the army, he gets BHA (extra money to his paycheck) for being married and/or having kids. It wouldn’t be an astronomical amount, but it’d be enough for us to be comfortable. And I’m willing to take on a job if need be.
We had a long talk about it and figured I’d stop taking birth control and he’d stop wearing condoms, we‘ll see what happens we’ll be happy whether or not the test is positive.
Any advice/feedback is welcome and I’m willing to answer any questions 🩷
Reading your story, I can totally relate to the big questions that come up when you're thinking about starting a family young. It's a huge decision, and it’s amazing that you and your boyfriend are having such open conversations about it, especially with him being in the military. Many people wonder, 'is 19 too young to start trying for a baby?' and honestly, there's no single right answer. It really depends on so many personal factors. On one hand, you have youth, energy, and potentially fewer ingrained habits, which can be great for adapting to parenthood. Plus, seeing the BHA benefit from his military service is definitely a practical consideration that many couples don't have at your age. It shows you're thinking ahead about financial stability, which is super important. However, it's also worth thinking about some of the unique challenges that might come with starting a family at 19. For instance, while financial comfort is a goal, parenting involves a lot more than just income. Have you both discussed how you'd manage unexpected costs, childcare, or if one of you needs to take time off work? Life with a baby can be expensive! Also, navigating the military lifestyle with a newborn or young child can be tough. Deployments, frequent moves, and being away from family support networks can put extra strain on a relationship and on you as a new mom. Building a strong support system within the military community or with friends can be a lifesaver. Another aspect to consider is personal growth and education. At 19, many people are just beginning to figure out their career paths or pursuing higher education. While it's absolutely possible to do both with a child, it often requires incredible dedication and sacrifice. Think about what your individual goals are for the next 5-10 years and how having a baby might fit into those. It's not about giving up dreams, but perhaps adjusting the timeline or approach. Emotional maturity is also a big one. You're both still growing and changing a lot in your late teens and early twenties. Parenthood will accelerate that dramatically! It will test your patience, your relationship, and your individual resilience like nothing else. Continuing to prioritize communication with your boyfriend and making sure you're both on the same page about parenting styles, responsibilities, and future plans is crucial. Ultimately, the decision to 'start trying for a baby' at any age is deeply personal. What feels right for one couple might not feel right for another. It sounds like you're already doing a fantastic job of thinking through the practicalities and discussing it openly. Keep talking, keep planning, and maybe even seek out some perspectives from other young military families. Their experiences might give you even more insight into what to expect and how to prepare for this exciting, life-changing journey.
