Day 2: Apology Tour

Today God reminded me how once we begin to feel better in any way we are so quick to disregard the very things that brought us that peace to begin with. That we lack the discipline to keep going and build routines for ourselves because we are only motivated out of immediate need.

Today is another day I kept my promise of building a routine for myself. And with those promises and prayers I felt like I should share my genuine love and apology to those I love and value in my life.

The journey to this space has not been easy because the truth is “Hurt people hurt people” and that hurt doesn’t always look like an intentional wrong doing or some big bad action. Some times its neglect or projection, or whatever unintentional thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened and you have to hold yourself accountable for it.

Internally I am struggling a bit though because once you’ve begun to hurt others in whatever ways you have the fact that you were experiencing your own hurt, trauma, depression, or whatever does become a little less important to everyone else. And you have to reach a point of being okay with that. Stop trying to place blame or be in control. We could go back and forth all day with the whys but the only thing that truly matters is how you want the future to look so that you can create a solution that fits that.

My solution is sharing the love despite the doubts and fears in my head. Offering accountability and apology and being honest and vulnerable moving forward.

You feeling dull isn’t a bad thing. It just shows that you’ve been working diligently to make something happen. Chaos and bad things happening in your life just shows that you are willing to change and transform. Losing relationships just shows that you’re willing to grow and not settle.

I wonder if Fergie really knew she did her big one with that song. CAUSE MAN 😭 I thought I felt it at first, but I relate now.

Remember you are worthy of change! Sadness isn’t going to kill you. This isn’t the end.

#shadowwork #healing #apologizetoapersonyouhurt #apologytour #diaryentry

2024/3/19 Edited to

... Read moreNavigating emotional journeys can be challenging, yet they present an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. When one embarks on a path of self-improvement and healing, it is essential to recognize the habitual patterns that may have caused pain to others. Words often carry weight, and sharing apologies shows a willingness to mend relationships that may have been strained. Understanding that 'hurt people hurt people' can shed light on the unintentional impact of our actions. Taking accountability requires courage. It’s important to remember that while we confront our own emotions—like hurt, trauma, or depression—others can easily feel overlooked. Setting intentions for change often means being honest about past mistakes and striving to make amends through consistent efforts. By initiating dialogues and expressing heartfelt apologies, one can cultivate a culture of openness. Additionally, embracing discomfort is a crucial aspect of personal growth. Sadness or feeling dull is often a sign of deep inner work. Instead of resisting these feelings, recognizing them as a part of the healing process can be transformative. Surrounding yourself with love, learning about shadow work, and openly addressing instances where you may have caused pain reflects strength. Commit to being vulnerable; it’s a testament to one’s courage and sincerity along the journey of change and healing.

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