Andre TW/ grief, love
“When its time to move on, its time to move on. Even if i wasn’t ready yet”
Those words carry me today. Words you delicately, patiently & mercifully gave to me.
I loved you for so long, so deeply. They way your warm brown eyes ran cold through me, like i was a ghost. I learned the importance of authenticity through you.
I dont know when your attention focused from a million miles away, right on to me, straight in to us- but in a blink you and i became we.
My mind was never far from you, even when we didnt have each other. I know how deeply your outlook became intertwined with mine now, i could never have imagined then.
Every part of me wished to take you with when i left, but no part of you could follow where i was headed. I couldnt have done better at the time, but i have the tools now- foraged in the fires, set to burn our bridge.
The deeply uncertain and volatile circumstances made our love inimitable.
We met face to face just twice as adults. We sent under 1000 paragraphs to each other since adolescence.
Yet nobody who ever loves me, be it friend, partner or otherwise will ever be able to do so without knowing pieces of you.
“When its time to move on, its time to move on, even if i wasn’t ready yet.”
I think those words silently, like a mantra to keep myself afloat. The weight of your lifes impact on mine is heavy. With time it carrying it will make me stronger. I have never been more privileged to feel such sorrow.
The experience of grief can be overwhelming, yet it often leads to significant personal growth. When we lose a loved one, such as a first love, it can leave an indelible mark on our hearts. Understanding the stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can help us navigate this challenging journey. It's important to acknowledge that everyone's experience of grief is unique. Writing letters to the deceased or sharing memories with friends can be therapeutic. Engaging in creative outlets like poetry allows for the expression of complex emotions that may feel too heavy to vocalize. Community support plays a vital role in healing. Platforms for sharing feelings help individuals connect with others who understand their pain. By discussing our grief, we not only honor those we have lost but also foster a sense of solidarity. Exploring resources like grief counseling or support groups can offer further assistance. Remember that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning to carry the lessons, love, and memories forward into a new chapter of life. With time, the sorrow transforms into strength, leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our capacity to love. Embracing this journey allows us to find meaning and hope amidst the heartache.