Friends and lover relationships change depending on the love from parents in childhood
This will lead to yesterday's post 📝
I don't even know why,
I can't get along well with my friends and lovers,
Something hard to live...
I wonder what...
There may be a hint hidden here for those who think so.
Attachment style is a relationship with parents (caregivers) in childhood
Formed by how they were involved,
This is a blueprint for how to connect with people with peace of mind.
Parents' response patterns shape future interpersonal relationships and romantic tendencies.
The child says, "I am loved."
Whether you feel "I am valued" and have spent your childhood with a sense of security 🔑 is 🔑 important key ❗️
In terms of attachment type classification,
① Stable attachment is the most desirable!
Children have someone who loves them.
Have a basic sense of trust, be mentally stable,
Independence and sociality are easier to develop ✨✨
❤️👶 Childcare 👩❤️
The keyword is
🟠 sensitive
🟢 appropriate
🟡 consistency
🟠 sensitive
Be aware of your child s signs (crying, facial expressions, movements, etc.) without immediately overlooking them.
🟢 appropriate
Against the sign in the way that child needs to
To respond.
For example
If you're hungry
Milk, feeding, baby food...
If you're anxious
Hugs, gentle calls, stroking, hugs...
If you are tired
Sleep and cuddles...
And so on.
🟡 consistency
Regardless of the mood or convenience of the parents, keep repeating this response without blurring.
By having all three, children trust their parents as a "safe base" and the foundation of their mind is stable 🥰
This is said to be parenting that leads to the formation of stable attachment 🥰
Please refer to the following to see what kind of parenting is divided into each type ⬇️⬇️
① Stable attachment
Life is based on a safe and secure base.
🔴 Society and Work
A trusted team player.
Be able to hold your own opinion while respecting the opinions of others. Even in difficult situations, you can find solutions without getting emotional.
🔴 Friends
A balanced friendship.
You can maintain a certain distance from your best friend.
You can ask for help when you are in trouble, but don't rely too much. You can sincerely rejoice and support your friend's success.
🔴 relationship
A healthy interdependence.
Be confident in being loved and trust your partner. Do not worry about the frequency of contact and do not bind. Can calmly overcome breakups and conflicts.
② Anxiety type attachment
Life is a battle against "anxiety that you do not know when you will be abandoned."
🟢 Society and Work
Someone who overtries.
Strongly seeking evaluation and approval from others and trying too hard to meet expectations.
I am always concerned about my place in the group.
🟢 Friends
Seek an emotional bond.
Relationships with best friends tend to become the center of life, and when contact is lost, it becomes anxious that "I may be hated."
Excessive kindness and care may be used to attract the attention of friends.
🟢 relationship
Obsession and testing behavior.
Contact your partner frequently to confirm your affection. Even a slight change in attitude is viewed negatively and jealous.
It is easy to confirm the other person's affection with "trial behavior" that pushes farewell.
③ Avoidance type attachment
Life is a fortress to survive on your own.
(Self-reliance = defense to avoid getting hurt, so don't rely on anyone, reject emotional connection, and try to keep your mind safe by yourself)
Intimacy takes away freedom.
🔵 Society and Work
A lone wolf perfectionist.
He dislikes relying on others and thinks "it's faster to do it yourself." He can work, but he tends to avoid emotional sharing and team get-togethers.
🔵 Friends
Dry and superficial companionship.
I hate being deeply involved, I don't give emotional consultations, and I'm not good at being consulted.
When friendship deepens, they suddenly pretend to be busy and try to keep their distance
🔵 relationship
People who want to keep their distance.
When you get too close, you feel oppressive and feel "heavy" and want to run away.
Prioritize your time and space.
He has poor emotional expression and accepts parting casually.
④ Fear and avoidance type attachment
Life is "I want to get closer" and "I'm afraid of getting hurt"
contradictory conflict.
🟣 Society and Work
Unpredictable behavior.
If you show a very social and attractive side, you will suddenly turn away or lash out at people.
It is easy to judge whether it is an enemy or an ally within a group.
🟣 Friends
Relationship like a roller coaster.
If you idealize a friend and get close quickly, you may feel betrayed by the other person's trivial words and actions and suddenly break off the relationship.
🟣 relationship
Pull and push.
They want a close relationship, but reject the other person because they are afraid of getting hurt when approached.
Because of their low self-esteem, they can't trust their partner's affection, and it's easy to repeat breakups and reunions.
⚠️ "Orbit Correction of Attachment"
It is said that you can always make it on time.
Research has shown that attachment styles are modified by experiencing new, responsive interactions, no matter how old a child is, or in an adult relationship.
However, the "ease of effect" and "time required for correction" differ depending on the time.
私自身も幼少期の親からの愛情の受け取り方が、社会に出てからの人間関係の築き方に大きく影響していることを実感しています。特に、敏感で適切かつ一貫した対応が子どもの信頼感を育む重要な要素だと感じます。 例えば突然不機嫌になったり、親の対応が日によって違うと、子どもは安心感を得にくくなり、不安型や回避型の愛着スタイルに陥りやすいように思います。私が経験した安定型愛着の子育ては、子どもの泣き声や表情の変化にすぐ気づき（敏感）、必要なケアを適切に行い、毎日の対応をできるだけ一定に保つ（一貫性）ことでした。 また、大人になってからも新たな人間関係で『愛着の軌道修正』が可能だという点は希望になります。私も職場や恋愛での経験から少しずつ信頼関係を築き直すことで、不安や恐れが薄れてきました。重要なのは、自分自身の愛着スタイルを理解し、それに合ったコミュニケーションを意識することだと思います。 親子関係の影響は、友人関係での距離感や恋人関係での相互依存の在り方にも大きく反映されます。自分がどのタイプかを知ることで、対人関係のストレスを軽減し、より良い絆を育んでいけるヒントとなるでしょう。例えば、安定型であれば困った時に助けを求める素直さがあり、不安型や回避型の方は少しずつ安心できる場面を増やす工夫が必要かもしれません。 このように、幼少期からの親の愛情と関わり方の質が、人生の対人関係の土台形成につながっていることを、私自身の経験からも強く感じるところです。皆さんも日々の子育てや人との関係づくりにぜひ取り入れてみてください。
