About the difference between spoiling and spoiling

How do you do it at home?

Or how was it when you were a child?

Please comment 😄✨

If you accept any child's request,

I will grow up to be a selfish child in the future.

You may not be able to become independent easily.

I think some people are worried ‼️

But, uh,

"Spoil" and "Spoil"

If you know the difference, don t worry 😄✨✨

What do "spoil" and "spoil" mean 📚

They have the opposite effect!

If you read the sentence below, you will understand how it is the opposite, so please read it by all means.

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🩷 good results of appropriate "spoiling" 🩷

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Self-esteem and a sense of security 🌱

Children need their parents to express their feelings and demands unconditionally.

By accepting me, I feel that I am loved and that my existence is valuable.

This is the basis of self-affirmation and the "safe base of mind" is formed 😄

Self-reliance is nurtured 🌱

It is said that the more children are spoiled by their parents, the more they can safely leave their parents and move toward independence.

🔴 heart

Because they are spiritually filled, they are full of energy and motivated to try new and difficult things.

🔴 search behavior

I am confident that my parents will help me when I am in trouble.

Therefore, you can explore the outside world without fear and gain various experiences.

Trust in society and others deepens 🌱

Children who have built a deep relationship of trust with their parents are more likely to have a sense of trust in others and society based on that.

🔴 believe in people.

Because they have experienced parental affection, they become better at accepting the kindness and kindness of others and building relationships.

🔴 empathy

Having had their parents take their own weaknesses and feelings, they can empathize with and show compassion for the feelings of others.

Gain the power to recover from setbacks

When you fail or get hurt, you can be spoiled by your parents and heal your heartache. Through this experience,

You will learn that you can recover even if you fail and that you can ask for help when it is difficult, and you will develop the ability to overcome difficulties.

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🚫 spoiling results (negative effects) 🚫

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3. Strong dependence and inability to be independent

🔵't judge for myself.

Parents are always proactive and solve it, so the opportunity to think and act and make choices for themselves is lost.

🔵 Dependence on Parents

The perception takes root that if you rely on your parents, anything will be solved, and even as an adult, you tend not to be able to leave them mentally and financially.

Become a self-centered personality that cannot be tolerated

🔵 low resistance

From the experience of being able to get what you want immediately or being accepted unconditionally, the resistance to "waiting" and "giving up" (frustration resistance) is low.

🔵 selfishness escalates

If you cry or beg, you will learn that your request will pass, and it will be easier to recognize that the world is spinning around "self-centered."

Lack of sociality and coordination

🔵 rules

If there are many experiences where breaking rules within the family is allowed, it is easy to tend to neglect social and group rules.

🔵 conflict with others

Because you try to get through your requests without considering the feelings and convenience of others, it is easy to increase conflicts in your friends and workplace relationships.

Weak to setbacks and unable to recover

🔵 low self-esteem

Even if you look confident, you do not develop a true sense of self-esteem because you have few successful experiences of achieving things yourself.

🔵 Escape from Difficulty

When faced with a failure or difficulty, you are more likely to give up quickly or blame others because you do not have the experience to overcome it yourself.

5. Feelings of gratitude fade

🔵 it is natural to have

Because everything is given and done in everyday life, it is difficult to feel grateful for the support from parents and others.

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🚫 result of spoiling (limited positive effects) 🚫

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The term "pampering" here is interpreted as "obtaining sensory satisfaction and comfort only on the spot."

③ Immediate reduction of mental stress

When a child is under a lot of stress or sadness, giving him or her whatever he or she likes (sweets, games, etc.) or listening to all of his or her requests can help him or her temporarily regain calm.

※ ⚠️ However, this is not a fundamental solution and may deprive you of the opportunity to learn how to deal with emotions.

Opportunity for repairing parent-child relationship (limited situation)

Usually, when parents are busy and lack of communication, temporarily accepting all the selfishness and demands of the child may cause the child to feel that the parent cares about him and temporarily repair the rift in the relationship.

However, if this is used regularly, children will learn that if they annoy their parents, they will be taken care of.

Immediate improvement of motivation

(Pampering as a reward)

When parents exceed expectations, such as when they score well on a test, giving expensive items or games beyond the rules can temporarily motivate their children.

In this case, the motivation is not intrinsic (fun, I want to do it), but depends on extrinsic (I want a reward), which does not lead to long-term growth.

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The conclusion is that "spoiling" has no long-term benefit.

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Let me be spoiled

Increase your sense of self-esteem ✨✨

Deepen the bond between parents and children ✨✨

Let's develop a sense of independence ✨✨

Let's deepen trust ✨✨

Childcare troubles solved # parenting # spoiled