What would you do if your child spoke ill of someone else?
Everyone who is raising children, thank you for your hard work every day 🙇
It's a bit of a heavy topic today, but I'd like to hear your response to the troubles that everyone experiences at least once 🙏
😭 "bad words" heard from children
"Negative remarks"
Children say, "I hate XX-kun!"
When I hear something like "bad words about the teacher,"
As a parent, you will be surprised.
"Why do you say that!"
I just want to be careful,
Sometimes I wonder if it's okay to deny my feelings...
When a child speaks ill of someone or complains about someone, what do you do first?
Examples of negative remarks by age ⬇️
Depending on the child's growth stage, the points of concern about parents' response will also change.
👶 Childhood (~ 5 years old): Expressing emotions too honestly
• "No, XXX-chan! Don't play!"
• "Mom, I hate girls who say 'boo-boo'!"
Emotionally decide (because of trouble with friends), "That child is bad!"
→ 💡 Trouble: Should I teach right and wrong? Should I calm down first?
👦 Elementary School Lower Grades (Ages 6-8): Difficulty in Relationships
• "I don't want to be with you because you're stupid, XX-kun."
"The teacher's way is really annoying!"
They complain about the group's sense of injustice, saying, "That child is just cheating!"
→ 💡 Trouble: How deeply do you listen to the story? I'm not sure if I should tell the school...
👧 Elementary School Upper Grades ~ (After 9 years old): Hidden Truth and Criticism of Parents
• "The kids in that group have a really bad personality."
• (To parents) "Mom doesn't understand me at all."
We suffer from the gap between our ideals and reality, and we tend to blame others and the environment.
→ 💡 trouble: It is difficult how to teach social rules and empathy for others, not emotion theory!
Let me know in the comments!
👨🧒👩 How do you guys feel about your kids?
Do you sympathize with the feeling by giving it a perfect name, "It's XX, isn't it?" Or do you tell the rules first, "That's not allowed"?
Tomorrow, I will post how parents can get involved and have a good relationship ✨
子どもが『〇〇ちゃんと遊びたくない』『先生が嫌い』などのいわゆる“いまいましい”短文で悪口を言う場面は、親としては戸惑いや心配がありますよね。私も日々の子育ての中で、感情表現がストレートな幼児期から、友達関係や学校生活での不満を伝える小学生まで、様々な場面に接してきました。 こうしたネガティブ発言は、子どもが自分の感情と向き合い、社会での人間関係を学ぶ大切な糧でもあります。私の場合は、まず子どもの気持ちに名前をつけてあげることを意識しています。例えば、「〇〇ちゃんと遊びたくない」と言われたら「今は〇〇ちゃんと遊びたくない気持ちなんだね」と受け止めることから始めました。これだけでも子どもの感情は少し落ち着き、話を聞きやすくなります。 また、方眼紙に書かれたイラストを使って『子どものネガティブどう受け止める？』という視覚的な問いかけも効果的です。感情を否定せず、まずは感じていることを受け入れられる環境を作ることが大切だと感じました。 一方で、小学校高学年になってくると、親への批判や社会ルールの理解など、より複雑な対応が求められます。この段階では、感情だけでなく、その背景にある理由や本音に耳を傾ける姿勢が重要です。 親としては、「いまいましい短文」のようなネガティブな言葉にどう対応すべきか悩むことも多いと思いますが、共感と言葉かけの工夫で子どもの心の整理を助けられます。ぜひ皆さんも我が子の言葉をじっくり聴き、家族の信頼関係を深める参考にしてみてください。
