Writing as my Coping Skill🤍🖤
A violet flame reflected a water in me my pulse still loses her footing in.
My ribs are hollowed out hoping to make space for dead things to come back to life.
FOOLISH LITTLE GIRL…
Wishes don’t come true unless you give something up.
Teeth sharpen themselves against my tongue.
“I know.”
A part of me that still finds violet light in violence named as remembrance.
Curses stay alive through the haunting of its victims.
A flame feels.
I know what that’s like.
To burn myself up in feeling.
My heart is an arsonist and all I can do is spark these veins to metal and watch a soul drown in how sunrise finally missed my shoulder.
I don’t mean it,
But sometimes I still wish I did.
I wish I was breath against a window glass.
A ghost of an essence that couldn’t be anymore.
I wish still it felt like home to bury myself in the sky before the stars.
But instead I fucking became the witch who drinks poison to turn decay into sacred again.
FUCK!
Suicide letters became deeper ways to pull shadow to light and hold Lucifer’s flame into my own oblivion until silence spoke my soul’s name back to me.
It sounds like finally looking in the mirror and thinking a neutral thought versus why a bottle of Tylenol and Robitussin can still be heaven.
Heaven holds me in hell until Grim lulls me into a childhood dream I won’t need to wake from anymore.
And through shifting sunbeams onto different notches of a noose I keep hoping becomes a halo again loosens and I remember sometimes it’s hard for my brain to remember the trauma it keeps holding me hostage to avoid isn’t happening right now.
Even though the night consumes me.
The night consumes me.
The night subsumes me until I am the flame witnessing my own burning with a smile that feels like rescue.
In regrets name,
I tried.
The part of me born from nightmares slithers down my throat and wraps around my chest until the space between bone and breath is a lie waiting to hold itself under icy blue.
Eyes that wander into the sable never find their way back again.
Shadows can soothe if we stop hoping.
— hauntings I lose myself in —
Writing can serve as a powerful coping skill, especially when navigating intense emotions and trauma. Many individuals find solace in putting their feelings into words, as it allows them to externalize internal struggles and begin the healing process. This poem deeply explores themes such as remembrance, pain, and the transformative power of expression, symbolized by images like the violet flame and the metaphor of burning. The act of writing offers not only a means to release pent-up feelings but also an opportunity to reframe experiences. The author mentions how suicide letters evolved into a way to "pull shadow to light," reflecting how creative expression helps illuminate difficult thoughts and emotions rather than letting them remain hidden. This aligns with therapeutic practices like journaling and expressive writing, which research shows can improve mental health by processing trauma and reducing anxiety. In poems like this, vivid imagery such as "My heart is an arsonist" and "a ghost of an essence" conveys the rawness of emotional pain alongside a yearning for transformation. Recognizing and articulating these feelings is a crucial step toward self-awareness and recovery. Through metaphoric language, the poem also touches on the paradox of pain and hope — how enduring suffering can eventually foster resilience and sacredness. For readers facing their own difficult emotions, writing can provide a safe space for exploration without judgment. It allows for the gentle witness of one's experiences, fostering compassion and self-acceptance. The poem’s themes of memory and haunting reflect how trauma can linger, yet it reassures that the brain sometimes forgets the trauma to avoid constant suffering, highlighting moments of reprieve even in darkness. Ultimately, embracing writing as a coping tool is about finding voice amid silence, reclaiming agency, and transforming despair into meaningful stories. The vulnerability reflected in this heartfelt piece encourages others to consider creative outlets as part of their healing journey, supporting mental wellbeing through authentic self-expression.