i was once told....you're an untouchable. that wa

I remember the day someone looked me in the eye and said, "You're an untouchable." At the time, it felt like a strange compliment, a label I couldn't quite place. Was it a good thing? Did it mean I was strong, resilient, or perhaps, too distant? The full phrase, "that was more prophetic than I could possibly conceive," has echoed in my mind ever since, and it's taken years to truly unpack its meaning. Initially, I thought of 'untouchable' as a shield. It meant that negativity couldn't stick to me, that criticism bounced off, and that I was somehow impervious to the everyday dramas and emotional turmoil that seemed to affect others. It felt empowering, like a secret superpower. I prided myself on my ability to remain calm in chaos, to not let things get to me, and to maintain a sense of independence that bordered on self-sufficiency. In a world that often feels overwhelming, being 'untouchable' seemed like an ideal state. But as I navigated different relationships and life experiences, I started to see another side to this 'untouchable' quality. Sometimes, it wasn't a shield, but a wall. It meant that while I was protected from pain, I was also sometimes distant from joy. It meant that letting people in, truly opening up and being vulnerable, felt incredibly difficult. I noticed moments where I struggled to form deep emotional connections, not because I didn't want to, but because there was an invisible barrier, a self-imposed distance that kept me safe, yet also isolated. This realization was the 'prophetic' part unfolding. The more I leaned into being 'untouchable' in the sense of being emotionally guarded, the more I found myself observing life from a slight remove, rather than fully participating. It wasn't about being unapproachable on purpose; it was an ingrained way of protecting myself that, over time, became my default setting. This led to a deeper understanding: 'untouchable' isn't just about being strong; it can also be about the fear of being touched, of being hurt, or of losing control. So, what does it mean to truly understand and embrace being 'untouchable'? For me, it's about finding balance. It's recognizing my inherent strength and resilience, knowing that I can indeed weather storms without being completely shattered. But it's also about learning when to lower the guard, when to allow myself to be vulnerable, and when to let others in. It’s about consciously choosing connection, even if it carries the risk of discomfort. It's understanding that true strength isn't just about being invulnerable, but about having the courage to be open, to feel, and to truly connect, while still maintaining my core self. This journey of understanding has transformed 'untouchable' from a confusing label into a personal philosophy, guiding me to be both strong and genuinely present in my life.