Today was the first time I visited my mom’s resting place since her funeral. I thought it would be unbearable, and at first it was. It felt like my soul was shattering all over again.
But then my dad and I sat together on the beautiful bench he built for us to spend time with her. We talked. We shared memories. We even laughed.
My mom is in Heaven, and I know she is always with me, but today it felt like she was waiting for me. Like she was saying, “There you are, baby bird.”
For a moment, I could almost feel her kissing my forehead the way she always did. How lucky am I to have had her as my mommy? To have loved someone so deeply that I miss her this much. The pain is immense, but so was the love. And I would choose that love a thousand times over.
Visiting a loved one’s resting place after their funeral is often a moment filled with overwhelming emotions. I remember my first visit vividly—the raw pain of loss felt as though it was tearing me apart inside. But these visits can also bring unexpected comfort. Sitting together with family, sharing stories, and celebrating the life of the person we miss brings a sense of connection and healing. The bench built by my dad became a special spot for us—a place where we could feel close to my mom and almost sense her presence. Throughout my grieving journey, I found that such physical places, marked by personal touches like the bench or a favorite flower, help transform sorrow into moments of peace. I encourage anyone coping with loss to create their own meaningful rituals. Whether it’s visiting a resting place, writing letters, or simply talking to your loved one in your heart, these acts honor their memory and provide comfort. Reflecting on the immense love shared can ease the pain. In my experience, grief is a profound expression of love. The ache of missing someone deeply also reminds us of the special bond that always remains. Realizing that our loved ones are ‘waiting’ for us in spirit can bring a soothing sense of hope and acceptance. Remembering their warmth, like a comforting kiss or gentle embrace, allows their love to continue guiding us through life’s challenges. This journey is personal and unique for everyone, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. What helped me most was giving myself permission to feel every emotion fully, to laugh and cry without judgment, and to cherish every memory as a treasured gift. Sharing these experiences with others who understand, such as grief support groups or online communities, can also provide invaluable strength and connection. My mother's name, Mary Joanne Bell, and the dates etched on her memorial remind me that while her presence is no longer physical, her spirit remains an enduring part of me. Holding onto that love—the love that shaped me—is what continues to help me heal and grow.