When pain is passed from generation to generation, 💔

Generational Trauma 🗣😫

When pain is passed on from generation to generation 💔,

We've heard the term "history repeats itself."

It's not just in warfare or politics.

But sometimes it's pain, fear, belief.

And the pattern of relationships that were passed on by a generation.

To another generation without anyone intending.

This is called "cross-generational wounds."

Or "Generational Trauma."

Cross-generational wounds refer not only to violent events such as war, poverty, physical abuse, but also to small, recurring things in the family, such as reproach, never being praised, being compared, being emotionally ignored, or growing up in a home where no one talks about feelings; when a generation has wounds but never heals, they often pass them on to their offspring unconsciously...

For example, 💭

🔄 Grandpa grew up in an era when violence was common. Beaten when wronged.

➡️, he grew up believing that "love must come with control."

➡️, when you have a child, you can hit, use insults, pressure, or control.

➡️ you grow up in fear, fear of wrongdoing, fear of rejection, and feeling that you are not good enough, even if no one intends to hurt anyone, the pain continues.

And where is the wound in the heart important to living? ❓

The wounds in the heart affect love. 💔‼️

The problem with heart wounds is that it is not just in the past, but that it follows us in all kinds of relationships, especially love, when a child who grows up without being firmly or incorrectly loved may become an adult who fears being dumped or misunderstands love.

🔸, for example, 🔸

When the girlfriend responds slowly, the person doesn't just feel "the girlfriend responds slowly."

But the deep brain may interpret

"About to be dumped"

"I Don't Matter"

"I'm Not Beloved"

From a small matter, it became a big quarrel.

Or growing up in a house where parents rarely show emotion.

It may be learned that exposing feelings is dangerous. ❌ When a boyfriend wants to talk about feelings, it may be quiet, run away, or shut himself up. 😱 The other couple therefore feels unlistened. 😒 Conflict occurs over and over again. Many times, couples do not quarrel because of the present, but quarrel because of the wounds of the unhealed past. 🫂

Why do some people love each other but can't go on 🧐

Many people think that love fails because it chooses the wrong person, but in fact, often the problem lies in the wounds in the hearts of both sides. One is afraid of neglect, the other is afraid of being restrained. One needs intimacy, the other needs personal space. The more one tries to love each other, the more provokes each other's wounds. The last is tired and parted, not because there is no love, but because there is no tool to manage the wounds inside and never know that there is it.

This is linked to the problem of people having children. 🥲

In many countries, including Thailand, the birth rate is constantly declining, the reasons are not only economic, but also psychological and relationship factors. Many younger generations grow up to see parents quarrel, see marital distress, see stress-filled parenting, so many people feel, "I'm afraid of being the same parent I met."

"I'm not sure I can build a good family." When relationships are unstable, having children slows down, and some people choose not to have children because they don't want to pass on the pain they once suffered.

🔸 a common example. 🔸

🔴 belief that "parents are always right."

Children are taught to obey without questioning, in families, in schools, in mass societies, when children grow up, they don't dare to reject others, they don't dare set boundaries, they don't speak their own needs, they finally have problems in relationships and work.

🔴 comparison.

"Look, other children are better."

"Why not like everyone else?" The child learns that love is at the expense of works. Growing up, it feels like he has no value if he is unsuccessful, or feels worthless when he has no recognition.

🔴 don't cry. Don't cry. Don't talk.

Children are taught to be strong, not to be weak, not to express their feelings when they grow up, not to know how to manage their emotions, not to communicate vulnerability with their lovers, to escape problems, to be quiet, not to speak.

🔴 be patient. It'll pass.

Many families do not talk about problems, do not apologize, do not clear conflict, so children learn that love is to endure.

Not communication. The conclusion is to endure breaking.

The remedy is to stop the 🫂🍃 cycle.

Remedies do not mean blaming parents, grandparents, or predecessors, because predecessors were often victims of wounds from previous generations. Remedies are to see this cycle honestly, understand where it came from, and decide that "it will never be passed on from me again." Start by learning, learning to apologize, learning to accept the truth, learning to listen, learning to communicate feelings, learning to love without control, learning to accept yourself, and being brave to ask for help when needed. When one person heals himself, that person does not just change his life, but changes the future of his or her offspring. Love and the people around us. Stopping wounds across generations can start with one person, and that person can be us. Everyone means, everyone matters. Every action of us affects society and the world more than we thought. 🫂💓

# Psychology # wound in the heart # Love, relationships # Parents and children # Society is unlikely