What’s My Red Flag, Really?

I used to think my biggest red flag was being “too independent.” I told everyone I didn’t need help, didn’t need comfort, didn’t need anyone to stay. But that was a lie I told myself to feel safe. The truth? I was terrified of needing someone who might not choose me back. Anytime someone got too close, I’d pull away first, convincing myself it was “space” when really it was fear. It took losing a few good people to realize my avoidance wasn’t protection, it was self-sabotage dressed as strength. Healing for me has looked like learning how to communicate in the moment instead of disappearing after the storm. It’s scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes I still mess up, but I’m trying. I’ve learned that letting people see my fear doesn’t make me weak, it makes me human.

Have you ever noticed a pattern in yourself that pushed people away even when you wanted them close?

#girlpov #GirlTalk #AskLemon8 #lemon8challenge #healthylifestyle

2025/10/22 Edited to

2 comments

Rose 🐝's images
Rose 🐝

ive been learning this too. thankfully my fiance has been a great help in this. ive started being able to pinpoint when i start feeling that way, and will make myself communicate about how something made me feel, rather than bottle it up and run

Hahn Jackson's images
Hahn Jackson

I don't use it, because that's just who I am. it isn't about how others treat me, it's about getting it done. shalom you're loved 💔