Motherhood in the Trenches
Today we went shopping as a whole family.
All five kids. My husband. One store I genuinely love.
And somehow… I came home feeling empty.
I used to love shopping. I still do love it. But when everyone is around - the noise, the movement, the constant needs, the fussing, the questions, the arguing, the baby crying. My brain just shuts down. I try to focus, try to enjoy it, try to think… and I can’t. It’s like a fog rolls in. Everything becomes too loud, too fast, too much.
I think it’s overstimulation. Maybe a bit of dissociation from the stress. All I know is that it leaves me feeling defeated. Sad. Not myself.
Like I’ve lost my sparkle.
My pink.
The part of me that feels alive.
I was so excited for today. We went to Hobby Lobby, one of my favorite places, and I still couldn’t enjoy it. We were supposed to make a few more stops, but I just couldn’t do it. One store was all I had in me.
Now we’re on the way home. The kids are finally quiet. The baby is asleep. And even music feels like too much right now. Silence is the only thing that doesn’t hurt.
And I hate that this is what it’s become.
I love my family deeply. I love being a mom. I love being a wife. But I’m realizing more and more that without intentional time that is just mine, I’m not okay. And if I’m not okay, eventually no one is.
This isn’t about escaping my life.
It’s about preserving myself inside it.
Because motherhood (and wifehood) can be beautiful and sacred and fulfilling… and also absolutely consuming. And if I don’t come up for air sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in the trenches of it all.
I don’t want to lose myself.
I don’t want to keep shrinking.
I don’t want to feel disconnected from the woman I know I still am.
I need space to remember her.
If you’re a mom who’s ever come home from something you were excited about feeling inexplicably sad… if noise overwhelms you… if you feel guilty for needing quiet, alone time, or space that doesn’t involve caring for someone else, please know you’re not broken.
You’re overstimulated. You’re tired. You’re carrying a lot.
And you’re allowed to want yourself back. 🎀✨
I know I’m not the only mom who feels this. If you’re here, I’m glad you are. 🤍🫶🏻
#vulnerablemom #motherhoodstruggles #overstimulatedmomsclub #motherhoodunfiltered #realmotherhood
As a mom myself, I completely relate to the feeling of being drained and overwhelmed when the whole family is out together. There was a time I looked forward to simple errands or shopping trips, but with several kids and all their needs, those moments became sources of stress rather than joy. The noise, the fussing, and the nonstop movement can mentally exhaust you to the point that even your favorite places lose their charm. I found that the key to surviving and thriving in the trenches of motherhood is carving out intentional, uninterrupted time for myself. This doesn’t mean I love my family any less — it actually makes me a better mom and partner. When I allow myself quiet moments to recharge, whether it’s reading, a brief walk, or just silence, I return with the energy and patience that family life demands. Overstimulation isn’t a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a natural response to carrying heavy emotional and physical loads. Recognizing that need for space helps remove the guilt that so many moms feel for wanting alone time. Setting small boundaries and communicating them kindly can make a big difference. Remember, motherhood is a beautiful and sacred role, but it can be all-consuming if we don’t preserve our sense of self. Sharing these honest experiences with other moms can create powerful support networks where feelings of isolation and exhaustion are met with empathy and encouragement. If you’re feeling like you’re losing your sparkle, know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to prioritize your well-being to stay connected to the vibrant woman you are inside.