Am I blowing this up?
My boyfriend secretly took one of my ADHD meds for his exam… and didn’t tell me for four days. Now he’s mad at me for being upset.
my boyfriend (25M) is in grad school and stressed with finals. I have ADHD and take Vyvanse daily — he doesn’t. Today he asked me for one of my pills because he was panicking and couldn’t focus. I said no because he was already anxious, it was 6pm, and I only had two left (which means I’d have to go to work unmedicated).
That’s when he casually told me he had already taken one earlier this week while I was asleep… and just didn’t tell me.
He tried brushing it off with “what’s yours is mine,” but for me it wasn’t about the pill — it was the secret, the timing, and the fact he didn’t consider how debilitating it is for me to miss my medication.
When I told him it felt like he broke my trust, he cried, accused me of calling him a thief, and is now giving me the cold shoulder like I owe him an apology. I’m sitting here feeling betrayed and honestly shocked.
I’ve helped him study, I’ve even planned “med breaks” on weekends so I could lend him a pill before… but taking it without asking, not telling me for days, and then acting like I’m the problem? I don’t know how to approach this without making things worse.
How would you handle something like this?
When someone takes your ADHD medication like Vyvanse or dexamphetamine without asking, it can feel like a serious breach of trust and a disruption to your health routine. Medications prescribed for ADHD are not only crucial for managing symptoms but are often carefully regulated by dosage and timing. Missing a dose or having less medication available can severely impact your focus, mood, and daily functioning. In a relationship, sharing or lending medication without proper discussion can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. Although your boyfriend might have taken your medication under stress for his exam, this action overlooks the importance of your daily routine and the potential side effects when the medication is misused or taken without medical guidance. Open communication is essential to resolve this. Start by calmly expressing why the medication is important to you and how his secret use made you feel betrayed. Emphasize that it’s less about the pill itself and more about respect, trust, and health safety. Setting clear boundaries around your prescription medicine is critical — ADHD meds like dexamphetamine aren't something that should be casually shared due to their potency and prescription-only status. Additionally, consider discussing alternative ways to support his exam stress. Perhaps exploring stress-relief techniques such as mindfulness, scheduled breaks, exercise, or professional help can be healthier and build trust without risking misuse of prescription drugs. When dealing with emotional reactions, like him feeling accused or hurt, try to approach the conversation with empathy but remain firm about your boundaries. Forging mutual respect around health matters can strengthen your relationship and prevent similar issues from arising. If conflict continues, consulting a counselor or a mediator might help both partners communicate more effectively. Ultimately, protecting your physical health and emotional wellbeing, while fostering honest dialogue, is key to navigating such challenges.
I need to be clear with you about this, from a CCMA perspective, you did not overreact!! Taking someone else’s prescription medication—especially without their knowledge—is not legal and can be dangerous. Prescriptions are written for a specific person, dose, and condition. Using another person’s medication puts you at medical risk and exposes both of you to legal consequences. Equally important, this is a trust issue. Him taking your medication without your consent violates your autonomy and can make you feel unsafe. Trust is essential in any relationship, and actions like this can seriously damage it. Your health needs were interfered with without your consent. Rebuilding trust requires acknowledging that impact and committing to not repeating the behavior - Even a single dose is unsafe and illegal when it’s not prescribed to you. There is no safe or acceptable amount when it comes to controlled substances that aren’t yours. Because this has happened more than once, this is now a serious safety and legal concern. Repeated taking of a controlled substance without consent is illegal and puts your health and your prescription at risk. You as a patient need to keep your medication locked up and in a safe place where he does not have the key and/or passcode. You have a few options to go forward with this… legally, mentally, and physically. You have every right to report him to your local authorities, your own physician about this. You can also encourage him to make an appointment for himself to be properly evaluated.