Losing and regaining confidence in myself 🫶
Hey beautiful ladies,
If you don’t know me, my name is Kari. I have been doing the #lemon8challenge #thekaridiaries but I’ve been writing my own prompts mainly because I feel like I need to just let out what’s been going on. My life has been insane lately and I feel like writing it down. It’s really the only thing that is helping me get through it. A couple of my other posts have #triggerwarningdarlings so please be aware before reading my posts ❤️
Today I am feeling a little bit discouraged, insecure, like I am lazy and unmotivated.. and last night I got into something that I definitely want to talk about in the future because I feel like it is so sooo important. I will plan on writing it sometime soon. It may be my next one.
But let me give you a little bit of backstory on where I am in this point of my life right now… I got kicked out of the military in May 2023, I decided to move to Houston Texas for my family that August, where I met my current boyfriend.. (and this may be a little bit awkward because I’ve talked about my relationship before in other posts and I’ve had nothing but good things to say about it.)But that’s just what happens overtime, you find the certain things that you feel like you can’t live without in a relationship. I will say it’s not true that “people don’t change” because people do change - and sometimes they change in the worst way possible. I know this is true because I’ve observed it in myself these past couple of months as we’ve transitioned from Houston Texas to Baltimore Maryland. I honestly have lost motivation to really do anything, don’t know what I wanna do as a career anymore. I’ve become avoidant and insecure, and I’ve started to feel guilty about standing up for myself. I feel like these changes lately have started to make me feel like such an angry person on the inside, and thats not fair to me and that’s also not fair to the people around around me. Like this if you can #relate 😞❤️
I don’t want to be a mean person, I don’t wanna be irritated all the time. I don’t want to hide from the people that I love and I don’t want to hide from the people that I want to get to know either.. I wish there was something that I could do tomorrow about my attitude and emotions, something that I could change and flip and change inside of me to just automatically feel better.. and most people on the Internet will convince you that it’s all about your mentality and you can control yourself and your emotions, but what if I can’t? Do I have enough fight left in me to find the motivation to change permanently or will I always wake up not wanting to actually get out of bed?
this is for all of my women out there who are struggling to find their will.
I think about doing the right thing all the time..I think about getting up early and making breakfast, going for a run, reading the Bible in my spare time, I think about drinking tea, and signing up for college, saving my money, and buying my dream house.
So if I know what the right thing is, why don’t I fulfill it?
3 reasons why I don’t do the right things -
1) they don’t interest me as much as I wish they would
2) I am selfish with my relaxation time
3) I am too busy in my own mind
CHANGE starts with you. You are enough. For one time, come out of the comfort of your own mind and begin to change. Accept things you cannot control and take the wheel on what you do with your spare time. I still havent fully figured this one out. I quit vaping, i quit drinking, i go to the gym daily, i complete one spiritual, physical, and emotional goal every day just like they said and i dont feel better. I still dont want to get out of bed in the morning. I think one day when i get my own space, the privacy of my own home, id be more willing to get up and do daily tasks…and truly my emotional support dog, May, is the most ive been missing since i left.
WHEN YOUR SITUATION CHANGES, SO DOES YOUR MENTALITY !!!! WHEN YOUR MENTALITY CHANGES, SO WILL YOUR SITUATION !!!!!
You are kind, prosperous, talented, creative, confident, forgiven, redeemed, free, valuable, anointed, equipped, beautiful!!!!!, attractive, amazing, you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE, you have the seeds of greatness hiding in your mind and the only one who can water it is you. Grow the sunflowers in the darkest place in your mind, you will become all God had created you to be and more.
If this gave you the motivation you needed, please reach out to me - share your story and your experience. I’d love to hear from you.
Regaining confidence can be a challenging process, especially after major life transitions like leaving the military or moving to a new city. It's important to acknowledge these feelings of insecurity and lack of motivation. Many people experience similar challenges, from the struggle to find a fulfilling career to coping with emotional shifts in relationships. To navigate this journey, consider setting small, achievable goals that gradually build your confidence. For instance, start with daily positive affirmations, commit to a short morning routine, or pick up a new hobby that excites you. Engaging in activities that spark joy can help shift your mindset. Additionally, support from friends, family, or online communities, especially for women facing similar struggles, can be invaluable. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can create a sense of belonging and encourage personal growth. Don't underestimate the power of self-reflection. Journaling your thoughts, addressing feelings of guilt, and understanding what you truly desire can clarify your path forward. Remember, change takes time, and it's okay to seek help when you feel lost. The journey to confidence is uniquely yours, filled with ups and downs – embrace it with patience and kindness towards yourself.
Honestly just seeing this, I’m from NY and lived in Delaware, now I’m in Austin! Let me just cut to the chase, Environment is everything, I was different in NY then I was in Delaware and I’m different here in Austin! Honey, Baltimore MD, no offense but maybe it’s the environment, Texas is awesome as far as tranquillity