Are you rushing your life?

Hi gorgeous,

A life update for this #thekaridiaries post.

Today I want to talk about what it’s like living with my #inlaws . Well really just my boyfriend’s dad. I moved here with my boyfriend from Texas in June earlier this year. And our whole goal was to live with his dad for maybe two months work every single day and move out into our own place. my boyfriend was supposed to go back to school and continue to play baseball for school. He changed his mind and he didn’t wanna play baseball anymore. I think that is where everything went sideways between me and my boyfriend’s family. Because everyone pretty much assumed that he quit playing baseball and quit going to school because of me. Not only that things did not go how we planned them to go originally obviously. It is November 4 and we still live with his dad, which has not been my idea. I have tried to move out multiple times but his dad convinces us to stay. I have not worked a full-time job since being here because I recently was just awarded 100% VA disability after being discharged from the military last year. Which basically means that I have a government sugar daddy hitting me up on the first of every single month for the rest of my life…. Obviously, you have done the same thing that I did when you found out how much money you were getting on the first of every single month for the rest of your life, which is quitting your 9 to 5, taking a break, and starting to find what you’re genuinely passionate about so you can live your dream life.

I am a young woman who has never ever been opinionated in her entire life, it’s always been a struggle to find out when I genuinely like, my style in clothing, food I want to eat, the career that I wanted, and overall really just what I wanted my life to look like. I’ve always been extremely impulsive making decisions because I do not like the decision-making process - which is genuinely awful because it takes a little bit time asking yourself what you like and what you’re okay with, but to be honest with you I feel like I have been rushing to get things done my entire life. I have never just sat with myself and processed what was really going on, what I needed and what I really wanted. I moved out of my parents house and I was 16 years old, and I have been working my ass off to not only make ends meet, but to make the other people around me proud of me. That’s really the only reason why I have been in such a rush my entire life.

Getting my disability meant that I could finally slow down and stop struggling for the bare necessities. I can finally stop and start asking myself what I really want now. I know how extremely lucky I am to have this, but also I know how extremely deserving I am to have this after everything that I went through. If you’ve seen my other #thekaridiaries posts, you know my trauma and thank you for being there to support me.

Back to living with my boyfriend’s dad, and how extremely uncomfortable that is at times. The main thing that is uncomfortable about this whole situation is that my boyfriend does not want me to tell his family that I have been awarded disability. Which means that they all think that I am genuinely just living in his dad’s house, off my boyfriend’s savings account, and forcing him to do everything for me. Which is entirely untrue. I don’t know how his family does not think that that is not true, I just took my boyfriend on a seven day cruise to the Bahamas, paid for everything, and I’ve been flying him around with me to travel to Tennessee and Texas… but I think that they all assume that it’s either daddy’s or my boyfriend’s money. I have told them before that I did own a model management business, but his dad is extremely critical and judgmental and he’ll make these small sly comments about my business and how much I make hourly. LMAO petty old man. The thing is, I may not know what I want to do exactly with my life, but what I do know is that I no longer want to work for other people. I do not want to end up like his dad working for the same company for the last 35 years and being forced to wait to retire till he’s 75. Can I get a #fuckthat ??? I think our whole generation can get on an agreement that we are done being fucked over by big ass CEOs making millions while we are at the bottom of the corporate ladder barely making ends meet.

it’s genuinely been a struggle being called a bum, lazy girl with no ambition behind my back. That’s simply not true. Just because I have chosen to take a step back from working a 9 to 5 to start my own businesses, does not make me any less than a bad ass bitch who is ur son’s sugar momma right now. I have tons of ambition, and big dreams for my life.

Genuinely tell me if I’m being crazy and if I actually am a fuckin bum. Because I think I’m being strategic more than anything. Love you girls.

#vulnerablediaries #breakingupwithmyoldself #movingonandup #needachange #embracevulnerability #unfiltered

2024/11/4 Edited to

... Read moreLife can often feel like a race, especially for young adults trying to find their footing in a demanding world. Many struggle with societal pressures to achieve milestones quickly, such as education, career success, and personal relationships. However, it's essential to pause and reflect on what we truly want instead of conforming to others' expectations. For those in transitional phases, like moving in with family or changing career paths, this can often lead to feelings of inadequacy or misunderstanding from others. People may perceive choices to step back from traditional work as laziness or lack of ambition, failing to recognize the courage it takes to pursue one’s passion instead of just surviving. Mentorship, community support, and resources can play critical roles in helping young people navigate these tough decisions. Whether it's exploring vocational training programs or engaging in self-discovery retreats, the focus should be on personal growth rather than adhering to a predefined timeline. Understanding that life isn't a competition can be freeing. The journey of self-exploration—through messy emotions, failures, and triumphs—is what truly enriches our stories. Just like developing a sustainable career or building a relationship, arriving at the right destination often requires patience and gentleness with oneself. It's about understanding your values and crafting a life that feels right for you. Ultimately, taking the time to savor the present moment will lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

20 comments

maxeemseyam's images
maxeemseyam

come to Montreal, and make $34,000.00 a month

Ariell's images
Ariell

Congrats to you girly and Live your best life!

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