You call her toxic now, but was she that way b4??
You call her toxic now... but was she that way before you betrayed her? Before the lies, the late replies, the disappearing acts, and the broken promises? Before you chipped away at her trust piece by piece while expecting her to keep loving you the same? She wasn’t toxic. She was loyal. She was open, soft, and believing in the version of you that didn’t exist.
She gave you the benefit of the doubt more times than you deserved. She forgave you when she should’ve left. She stood by you, even when your actions screamed that she shouldn't. You trained her to question her worth. You made her feel like her emotions were too much, her standards were unfair, and her love was a burden.
Now she has walls. Now she reacts. Now she asks questions. Now she protects herself. And suddenly, *you* get to sit back and call her unstable... emotional... "crazy." But the truth is, she's responding to the damage **you** caused. That fire in her wasn’t always there... it was lit by the matches you kept striking, every time you made her feel unseen and unloved.
She’s not toxic. She’s tired. She’s not cold. She’s cautious. She’s not dramatic. She’s done being played.
Stop blaming the woman who gave her all for finally having enough. You didn’t lose a “toxic” woman... you lost a real one. And the worst part is, you won’t realize how much she did for you until she stops doing anything at all.
In relationships, the term 'toxic' is often thrown around without consideration of the underlying issues. When someone feels betrayed, their response can appear defensive or dramatic, but it’s a reaction shaped by past experiences. Emotional trauma from betrayal leads individuals to erect protective barriers. They may have been nurturing and loving, but continuous disappointment can push them to distance themselves for self-preservation. This transformation should be seen as a survival mechanism rather than an inherent flaw. It’s essential to understand the root causes of such behaviors to foster healing and healthier interactions in the future. Exploring topics like betrayal trauma reveals the complex landscape of human emotions when trust is violated. Recognizing the feelings of being unloved or unseen can provide a path to reconciliation rather than blame. True growth in relationships involves understanding and empathy, rather than labeling. The healing journey often requires communication, validation, and support from both partners to mending wounds created by betrayal. By reframing the narrative around toxic behavior, we emphasize the importance of addressing the pain that leads to self-protection, ultimately promoting healthier emotional connections.
My mates dealing with this trauma now. 🥺