had a folder. hundreds of screenshots. bodies i wanted. thighs i wished i had. stomachs i'd never have. scrolled through it when i felt bad. made myself feel worse. looked at what i didn't have and mourned it like a loss. except i never had it to begin with. was mourning a body that was never mine. was jealous of strangers on the internet living their lives while i sat there cataloging everything i wasn't. this method made the folder obsolete. deleted it two months in. not because i suddenly look like them but because i stopped needing them as proof of my failure. you're not collecting inspiration, babe. you're collecting evidence against yourself.