Let’s Talk About :Trauma Bonds

The Hidden Porch | Let’s Talk About Trauma Bonds, Baby 💔🪞🔥

Alright now, pull up a chair on this porch ‘cause we about to get deep. I ain’t sugarcoatin’ nothin’ today. We talkin’ trauma bonding — and if that made your chest tighten or your spirit shift a lil’ bit, this message might be for you.

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🌪️ What Is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is when you get emotionally stuck to somebody through pain, chaos, or cycles of abuse. It don’t always look violent — sometimes it’s that up and down, “I love you today but I’ll ignore you tomorrow” type energy. Sometimes it’s subtle manipulation, silence, or guilt. And a lot of times, it’s rooted in what we ain’t healed from in our childhood.

This bond gets deep ’cause our nervous system can’t tell the difference between intensity and intimacy. Baby, just ‘cause it feel deep, don’t mean it’s healthy.

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🚩 Signs You Trauma Bonded With Somebody:

• You know the relationship is hurting you, but you can’t walk away.

• You keep excusing or justifying their harmful behavior.

• You feel addicted to the highs after the fights or breakdowns.

• You’re scared of being alone, so you stay.

• You feel like only they can understand or love you.

• You shrink yourself just to keep peace.

• You say, “They went through a lot too,” but forgetin’ what you been through.

🌱 If You Choose to Stay:

Let’s be real: sometimes you ain’t ready to leave. Or you still love them. Or y’all got kids, or shared bills, or shared history. I ain’t here to judge you. But I am here to tell you the truth.

If you choose to stay in a trauma-bonded relationship:

1. Get in therapy — individual and couples, if possible.

2. Journal your triggers. Don’t lose yourself in their storm.

3. Set boundaries, even if they push back.

4. Talk to your people — isolation will keep you stuck.

5. Make a plan to leave if it ever becomes unsafe.

6. Hold space for your own healing, even if they ain’t ready yet.

Staying don’t mean you gotta drown in their pain. You can swim toward healing — they just might not swim with you.

🔥 If It’s Time to Let Go:

It’s okay to love someone and still walk away. Read that again.

You were sent into their life with light — but if they keep using your light to fuel their shadow, baby, they ain’t ready. And staying will only hold you hostage in a storm you didn’t start.

• You don’t owe them your healing.

• You don’t have to stay just because they “need” you.

• You are allowed to outgrow the version of you that once needed them.

A trauma bond ain’t a soul tie — it’s a wound tie. Don’t confuse the two.

🪄 Need help cutting that tie? I got a full cord cutting ritual over on The Hidden Porch page. Go find it. Spirit already told me some of y’all need it tonight.

🧘🏽‍♀️ Spiritual Healing from Trauma Bonds:

Let’s not forget — we spiritual beings too. So here’s how to break trauma bonds in the spirit:

1. Cleanse with herbs:

Burn mugwort, sage, or rue. Let that smoke pull the pain up and out your aura.

2. Take spiritual baths:

Use Florida Water, rose petals, hyssop, and a splash of sea salt. Speak your release into the water. Cry in it. Sing in it. Let it hold you.

3. Speak release prayers or mantras:

“I release all ties that bind me in pain. I reclaim my peace, I reclaim my power.”

4. Cut cords:

Visualize the cord between y’all. See it. Feel it. Then with breath, scissors, or your hand, cut it. Light a white candle. Anoint it with oil. Let your ancestors stand with you.

5. Dream work:

Ask your spirit guides to help you heal in your dreams. Keep amethyst or black obsidian under your pillow.

💬 If You Ain’t in a Relationship Yet…

Honey. Heal now. Don’t wait.

Before you fall in love, fall into yourself. Don’t let your childhood wounds go shopping for a partner — they’ll pick somebody that feels familiar, not someone who’s healthy.

Go to therapy. Talk to your inner child. Reparent yourself. Learn what love actually feels like — not pain dressed in passion.

Final Word from the Porch:

Trauma bonds don’t mean you weak — they mean you human. But you ain’t meant to stay stuck in cycles that dim your soul. If you’re still choosing love that hurts, ask yourself: is this what my spirit deserves?

You ain’t alone out here. Get support. Call your ancestors in. And remember — the porch is always open. 🕯️💭

#witchcraft #healingjourney #spirituality #healing #witchyvibes