My thoughts
For me, it’s so easy to love my baby. He does no wrong in my eyes, is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and is always happy to see me. My husband on the other hand, does plenty of wrong, has stinky feet, and is not always happy to see me.
I tend to put my husband on a pedestal and expect him to act perfectly and then get upset when he shows he’s a human. But with my son, I don’t expect perfection. It would be ridiculous for me to expect perfection from a child. Why is my mindset expecting so much from my husband, who already gives me so much? I’ve come to realize that love has to be intentional for some and come naturally to others, and that’s okay.
I have to be intentional in my love for my husband, not always, but a lot of the times. I have to stop before I speak, think before I react, and love before I hurt. He’s not perfect, he’s just a guy. But he’s my guy, I’m no better than he is. I don’t quite understand why I love my son easily and it’s sometimes hard to love my husband, but I know that it’s okay.
Combining love for our children and partners can be confusing. Many parents express that loving their kids feels instinctual, while affection towards their partners can be challenging. This disparity often stems from unmet expectations. Parental love is typically unconditional, fostering an atmosphere of acceptance and support. Conversely, relationships with partners may involve comparisons, judgments, and past grievances, which can hinder the natural expression of love. Communication plays a pivotal role in bridging this love gap. Open dialogues about feelings, grievances, and expectations can nurture mutual understanding. Couples can benefit from setting aside time for each other to strengthen their bond, reminding themselves of why they fell in love initially. It's essential to remember that relationships require work and intentionality similar to parenting—both need patience, empathy, and a willingness to learn and grow together. In essence, love towards partners should not be overshadowed by the blissful love we offer our children. By acknowledging our partners as flawed yet deserving of love, we cultivate a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. Implementing small habits can lead to profound changes, reinforcing bonds as couples navigate life's complexities together.
