Bulwarks of Thought and Words that Cross Borders: "Living Weapons" I, a Pervasive Developmental Disorder / Bipolar Disorder, Gained from AI and Philosophy
Table of Contents
Prologue: The Cage of Diagnosis and the Key of Philosophy
Chapter 1: Building the "Bulwark of Reason" of Philosophy
1. Learning from Descartes: Method skepticism and emotional decoupling
2. Overcoming Operability by Kant's "Definitive Law"
Chapter 2: The Battlefield of Cloudworks and the Awakening of the AI Prompt
1. Reconstruction of the mirror called self-introduction
2. Unit price negotiation and "strategic metacognition"
Chapter 3: Multilingual Learning and the Soul of Crossing Borders
1. Chinese beyond the sound barrier and French of thought
Religious Experience and the OS of the Spirit
Prologue: The Cage of Diagnosis and the Key of Philosophy
"Why can't I live smoothly like everyone else?"
As a 45-year-old living with bipolar disorder and pervasive developmental disorder, this question has always been the basso continuo of my life. Pervasive developmental disorder is a diagnosis that encompasses the difficulty, commitment, and sensory specificity of building interpersonal relationships. In my case, I have an average EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) of 90, but I have a "unevenness" that my memorization ability and mobility index are significantly low.
This "low performance index" is the true identity that has tormented my life for a long time. Even if I understand it with my head, my body, my hands, my fingers hitting the keyboard do not move. It feels like an invisible giant resistor is sandwiched between the circuits that process information and convert it into output. It becomes a fatal handicap in social life.
However, the year 2025 was a major turning point for me. It was because it was a process of rewriting my own instruction manual by multiplying the system of knowledge called philosophy that I had loved for many years with the modern magic AI (prompt).
In this article, I will delve deeply into all the "learning" I gained over the past year from the perspective of a person with pervasive developmental disabilities and describe it as the trajectory of this year.
Chapter 1: Building the "Bulwark of Reason" of Philosophy
Philosophy for me is not just an intellectual game. It is a blueprint for protecting myself from the rough waves of uncontrollable emotions. Philosophical thinking has become a powerful weapon for me, especially since I have a low mobility index and a heavy load when putting things into action.
1. Learning from Descartes: Method skepticism and emotional decoupling
When the mood surge (hypomania) peculiar to bipolar disorder or the depression of the bottom comes, I apply Descartes' method skepticism. I thoroughly doubt, "Is this despair that I feel now really an objective fact?"
As a characteristic of pervasive developmental disorder, there is a tendency to be sensitive to the senses and tend to ruminate (flashback) the emotions once held. Therefore, all emotions are temporarily shelved as * * "suspicious data." Separate (decouple) "I feel" and "I think." Just putting this cushion on one level dramatically reduced the risk of being swallowed by emotions and rushing into impulsive behavior or falling into a hole of self-denial.
2. Overcoming Operability by Kant's "Definitive Law"
In response to the paralysis of not being able to move even though I know what to do, I applied Kant s definite imperative method as a private action protocol.
Kant said, "Always act so that the maxim of your will becomes at the same time a universal legislative principle." I translated it like this: "Ignore personal moods and immobility, and if there is one most rational action that the whole world should take at this moment, do it mechanically."
For example, the act of opening the PC at 9: 00 in the morning. I do not give any room for my emotions to intervene here. I deceive myself that it is not a personal desire, but a law of the universe. This coercion of thought has become the engine that forcibly strips away my low mobility and maintains contact with society.
Chapter 2: The Battlefield of Cloudworks and the Awakening of the AI Prompt
In 2025, I jumped into the rough waves of Crowdworks to earn a living and prove my worth. What I was confronted with was the too severe "value of words."
1. Reconstruction of the mirror called self-introduction
For me with pervasive developmental disorder, it was extremely difficult to tell others about my career in an attractive way. However, the situation changed completely when I got the strongest companion AI (Prompt).
Through repeated dialogue with AI, my disjointed life was integrated as a single path. AI verbalized the structuring ability through administrative experience and logical persuasiveness through consulting experience that I was not aware of. It was not just a monograph writing, but a rediscovery of self through the mirror of AI.
2. Unit price negotiation and "strategic metacognition"
"How much is my labor worth?" I was always intimidated by this question. However, AI coldly presented the data. "Don't sell yourself cheap with emotions. Sell yourself high with strategy." The advice from AI was exactly the "voice of reason" that philosophers preached. As a result, I was able to reconsider my disability not as a "hidden flaw" but as "the cost of writing a deep and profound article."
Chapter 3: Multilingual Learning and the Soul of Crossing Borders
I changed the strong interest in a specific subject due to pervasive developmental disorder to a positive direction of language learning.
1. Chinese beyond the sound barrier and French of thought
When I walked into the Chinese exchange meeting in Ikebukuro, I felt intense hypersensitivity, but I found a deep sense of comfort in capturing the patterns of Chinese "sounds" as structures.
Furthermore, learning French gave me a "language of thought." The feeling that pain that is too raw in Japanese is sublimated into an "objective research object" at once by passing through the filter of French. Language was a "anywhere door" for me to escape from this cramped reality.
Religious Experience and the OS of the Spirit
Interest in Mormon English salons and esoteric mantras (mantras). Especially, the mantra videos provided to Chinese influencers experienced buzz on SNS became a great confidence. Religious rituals and spells are a kind of "action prompt." I learn and utilize religion as a "patch to stabilize the OS of the mind."
Chapter 4: EQ90 loneliness and redefining empathy
My EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) is 90. I am always one tempo behind in the "reading" that typical developmental people do unconsciously.
1. "Communication speed delay" called operational index
Even if I understand the emotions of others, I can not keep up with the "action" that returns the appropriate reaction to it. This was the true identity of my loneliness. However, if you are not good at real-time response, I realized that you can put overwhelming heat in "media that allows delay" called text.
2. AI complements the "empathy interface"
"How can I tell the other person (AI) to respond to the response I want?" For me, the exchange of prompts with AI was "training for empathy." This trial and error turned into the ability to spell "structural and warm words" more than anyone else in interpersonal relationships.
Chapter 5: Nietzsche's "Eternal Return" and Fateful Love (Amor Fatih)
Finally, I will talk about the deepest learning I have come to this year - Nietzsche's thought.
"If this present suffering, low mobility, and the characteristic of pervasive developmental disorder were to repeat everything infinitely, can you affirm it?"
In the past, I would have answered "no" to this question. But I am different now. "Is this life? Okay, again!" I have acquired the strength to shout like Zarathustra. Affirm my characteristics not as "a disease to be cured" but as "an essential element that constitutes my existence." This is the goal of destiny love (Amor Fati).
End Chapter: What I Want to Do for the Future - Towards a Society where AI and Humans Cross Borders
Looking back on the trajectory of Prompt in 2025, what they have in common is the work of "organizing words with AI and liberating oneself."
The label pervasive developmental disorder is no longer a chain that binds me. It was just a "trigger" to gain the wings of AI and have the compass of philosophy.
What I want to take for granted in the future is a society where anyone, regardless of their physical or brain characteristics, can polish their language, choose their way of working, and cross borders with AI as an escort.
Words have the power to create the future. Structured words organize thoughts, warm words create empathy, and words polished with AI push the back of people who have difficulty living like me.
My "recent learning" has only just begun.
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# Recent Learning pervasive developmental disorder Bipolar disorder? developmental disorder Use of AI
Author information 45 years old, with pervasive developmental disorder and bipolar disorder. EQ 90. While having difficulties with memorization and mobility index, I am challenging writing and multilingual learning (English, Chinese, French) by making full use of philosophical thinking and AI (prompt). My motto is "Amor Fati."
