found out i was pregnant the day after graduation
i found out i was pregnant with my first child the day after i graduated from college. my husband and i had been married for about 9 months. we were trying, but i was still completely shocked. we thought it would take a few months but instead it only took a few weeks. i was 21 and my husband was 22 and everyone thought we were crazy.
i was due to start a full time, one year grad program in two weeks. i immediately called my advisor and she helped me switch from full time to part time. it would have been so easy to drop out and come back to school at a later date. but i knew if i dropped out, it would be so much harder to come back in the future. so i decided that was not an option for me. instead of graduating in may 2021, i was now set to graduate in may 2022.
so two weeks later i started my grad program! this was 2020, so everything was online. it made the whole situation a LOT easier. i spent most of my time on zoom calls, writing papers, and attending ob/gyn appointments.
my husband was still in his last year of undergrad getting his bachelors degree in psychology and working full time. while my job shut down because of covid, he ended up getting a promotion. he worked nonstop while still in school to make sure i didn’t have to work and could just focus on school and the baby.
at my first ultrasound, they noticed that there was extra fluid behind my baby’s spine, around its neck. they immediately scheduled me for an NT scan for a few weeks later and handed me a pamphlet on all the different things it could mean. they told me to prepare for a possible down syndrome diagnosis, or even trisomy 18. trisomy 18 is fatal, and the baby would not live past a year, IF they even made it to birth.
i was terrified and it made it so hard for me to connect to my pregnancy. i was scared that the baby we wanted so badly and that i had rearranged my life for wouldn’t even make it. the doctor that told me that these could be possibilities had a horrible bedside manner and was very blunt and rude. it made me feel like there wasn’t even a chance that things could be okay. i would have been fine with a down syndrome diagnosis, but the trisomy 18 was terrifying.
a few weeks later i went in for my NT scan with the maternal fetal medicine doctor. almost as soon as he started the ultrasound he said “i don’t know why you’re here. the measurements look absolutely fine. your baby is fine.” i felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. i have never felt more relief in my life.
after that i finally allowed myself to get excited for and connect with my baby. the rest of my pregancy was normal and perfectly uneventful. i switched from my original ob that had flagged my baby for those potential diagnoses to the most wonderful midwives on earth. i experienced no complications and brought my son into the world at 41 weeks, after 41 hours of labor.
i finished the rest of my grad program with my son by my side. we joke that he has an honorary masters degree because he sat in on all my zoom classes with me. my professors and advisors were all so supportive of me as a new mom and loved seeing my son on zoom calls. i’m so glad that i didn’t have to sacrifice my education to become a mom, and i hope my kids look back and know that i did it all for them.
@Lemon8Parenting #lemon8parents #lemon8parenting #motherhood #lemon8challenge #pregnancy #firsttimemom #momsoflemon8 #pregnant #pregnancyjourney #momlife
My journey of becoming a mom while still a student was definitely a whirlwind, and I know many out there might be wondering how to make it work. When I first saw those "ultrasound photos" with 'Coming January 2021,' I knew my master's program was going to look a lot different than I'd planned! It's not always easy being a "pregnant grad student," but with the right approach and support, it's absolutely achievable. One of the biggest lessons I learned was the importance of clear communication. Right after my "undergraduate graduation," when I realized I was pregnant, my first call was to my advisor. Don't be afraid to talk to your professors and academic advisors early on. They can often provide flexibility, resources, or even just understanding. For me, switching from full-time to part-time was a lifesaver, allowing me to manage my "OB/GYN appointments" and classes without feeling overwhelmed. The shift to "online grad school" during COVID-19 was unexpectedly beneficial, allowing me to attend classes from home, often with my son "attended" online grad school classes with me even before he was born. This flexibility is something I'd highly recommend exploring for any pregnant student. Building a strong support system is also crucial. My husband was an absolute rock, working full-time and finishing his own degree to ensure I could focus on school and the baby. But beyond your immediate family, look for parent groups on campus, online forums, or even just a trusted friend. Having people who understand what you’re going through, whether it’s morning sickness during a lecture or late-night study sessions with a fussy newborn, makes a world of difference. When we had our "gender reveal party" and found out we were having a "baby boy," it felt like our whole community was celebrating with us, ready to lend a hand. Navigating the emotional rollercoaster, especially with early health scares like the initial concerns from my "first ultrasound" about "potential diagnoses," was incredibly tough. It tested my ability to connect with my pregnancy at times. But having those around me who reminded me to stay positive, and eventually getting the all-clear that our baby was "healthy," reinforced the importance of mental well-being throughout pregnancy. For anyone considering continuing their education or starting a new program while pregnant, here’s my advice: Advocate for yourself: Know your rights and don't hesitate to ask for accommodations. Plan, but be flexible: Life with a baby is unpredictable. Have a study schedule, but be ready to adapt. Prioritize self-care: Your health and your baby's health come first. Don't burn yourself out. Embrace the journey: It's a unique experience that will make you incredibly resilient. Reflecting on my own mom's journey, and now having my "newborn baby" in my arms, I often think about the strength of mothers. While my mom wasn't pregnant at the exact same time as me, her unwavering support and wisdom were invaluable. She shared stories of her own experiences, making me feel less alone. I hope that one day, my son looks back at these early days and sees that I pursued my dreams for him, showing him that with determination, you truly can achieve anything. It's a testament to how much we can accomplish when we have a clear goal and a tiny, precious motivation.
❤️ beautiful, I’m so happy for you!! Glad he ended up being perfectly fine and that you were able to continue your schooling!