You Chasin’ the Snake?!?

Let’s have some real talk. Imagine this:

You get bit by a snake. Venom pulsing. Pain throbbing. Instead of running to get help, calling an ambulance, or slapping on a bandage—you take off running after the snake… like, “Wait! I need you to know I didn’t deserve that!”

Girl, WHAT? Be so for real right now.

That’s how a lot of us be moving after a heartbreak, betrayal, or some dusty disrespect.

We get wounded—emotionally, spiritually, mentally—and instead of tending to our healing, we sprint after the very thing that bit us, trying to negotiate our worth with folks who already showed us they don’t care. That ain’t self-love, that’s self-abandonment in a lace front.

Let’s break it down:

1. Why Are You Explaining Pain to the Person Who Caused It?

Sis, he knows he hurt you. He’s not confused—he’s comfortable. There’s a difference.

You showing up to every argument with annotated footnotes and emotional receipts like it’s a PowerPoint presentation, and he’s still unbothered, chewing gum, and emotionally unavailable. News flash: he already turned in his resignation letter from accountability. He gone.

2. Familiar Doesn’t Mean Fulfilling

We mourn what’s familiar—not always what’s good for us.

You’re grieving the routine, the comfort of chaos, the idea of who he could’ve been if he had just grown up and chose you. But baby, the version of him you fell in love with might’ve been potential—not reality.

3. Stop Trying to Win a Trophy for Loyalty in a Losing Game

You held it down. You prayed. You forgave. You begged God for signs, and God sent you a billboard that said “GET OUT.” Yet here you go, turning it into a scavenger hunt: “Maybe this sign doesn’t apply to me if I squint?”

Sis, loyalty is beautiful, but not when it becomes self-sabotage.

4. Let the Snake Slither

That man, that friend, that family member who bit you with betrayal—let them go! You don’t need closure from confusion. You need peace.

Tend your own wound. Call on your village. Get in therapy. Cry it out. Journal. Eat that brownie. Scream into the pillow. Just don’t chase the snake.

Bottom line:

You can’t heal chasing closure from people who ain’t even healed themselves. You are not a rehab center for broken people who don’t want to change. You are a whole masterpiece. So stop running after snakes and start running toward your healing.

And remember: sis, stop. Tend the wound. Let the snake slither.

#healingrelationships #RealTalk #lemon8lifecoach #healingjourney #mochasdiary

2025/5/7 Edited to

... Read moreHealing from emotional wounds takes time, and often we find ourselves in unhealthy cycles where we crave closure from those who have hurt us. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward liberation. Many of us chase after explanation and reconciliation with individuals who are emotionally unavailable, putting our mental wellbeing at risk. Self-love starts with understanding that emotional chaos often masquerades as love, and letting go can lead to greater peace. It's crucial to acknowledge that not everyone we care deeply for will reciprocate our feelings or commitment. When someone betrays you, the first instinct might be to seek validation from them, asking for acknowledgment of the pain they caused. However, engaging in this behavior often leads to self-abandonment. Instead of searching for answers outside of ourselves, we should redirect that energy inward and invest in our healing process. Practices such as journaling about your feelings, seeking support from friends, and even professional therapy can be instrumental. Engaging in mindfulness activities can also foster a deeper understanding of what you truly need during your healing journey. Remember, closure isn't just about understanding the past; it's about liberating yourself from the emotional chains that bind you to unrequited love. Once you learn to prioritize your sanity over closure, the healing journey becomes clearer. Letting go of individuals who bring you pain and disappointment opens the door for new opportunities, as well as healthier relationships in the future. It's time to stop chasing the metaphorical snake and focus on nurturing your own wounds, so you can emerge stronger and more aligned with your true self.

22 comments

erinthekaye's images
erinthekaye

Needed to see & read this so I’d have a wake-up call! Thank you 🙏🤍

yvettesargent2's images
yvettesargent2

I feel like you specifically shared this with me tonight.Every single word resonated with me so deeply. I don't want this. It hurts. 🥺

See more(4)

See more comments