4 lessons I’ve learned during stroke recovery
To be perfectly honest, every person’s recovery from something traumatic and life changing will always look different. But these are the key lessons I’ve learned in the 6 years since my stroke.
1 do not push limits too far!
Yes pushing limits can be a good thing and to help you get past a certain point but in terms of neuroplasticity when pushing a limit too far it can actually cause more harm than help. There is a certain point where the brain switches from thinking “oh I can do more” to “oh this is a problem and it hurts so it should be avoided” finding the correct balance there is frustrating but definitely necessary.
2 give yourself grace and time.
I was 30 when my stroke happened and I had been accustomed to living a certain way. If I wanted something that was across the room for me normally I would’ve just walked over to it but after my stroke that was not something I could do at first and mentally I was very mean to myself about that calling myself lazy and telling myself to just get up and do what I wanted to which of course does not help in situations like that. And I say give yourself time too because even before I was able to get professional physical therapy I was still able to learn how to transfer and get around in my wheelchair. I just had to give myself some time and stop being mean to myself.
3 mindset matters
For a long time I thought when people brought up stuff about mindset it meant I was supposed to deny that I was having any problems. It took me a while to understand that it didn’t mean that. In my case I was very pessimistic and I had to learn how to tell myself that this was something I could learn to handle. That’s when things started getting better for me.
4 human connection matters
I have always been an introvert and have enjoyed not being around people constantly but after a while of only seeing my family I lived with and not really getting to talk to anyone I got very depressed and thought about unaliving myself a few times. Human connection really matters. We cannot possibly fight through something like this all alone.
Like I said, there is much more I’ve learned but that is what I’m covering in this post today. I will eventually tell my stroke story in a post on here.
But for now, please understand if you have gone through a traumatic life changing experience keep these things in mind.
When I first started my stroke recovery journey, there were so many challenges I didn't even have names for. One of the biggest, though often unspoken, hurdles can be what experts call 'learned nonuse.' This is when, after a stroke, your brain essentially 'learns' not to use a weaker limb or side of your body because it's difficult or painful, even if some function is actually present. It's a tricky cycle to break, and it can feel incredibly discouraging, almost like your own body is giving up on itself. Looking back at the lessons learned during my stroke recovery journey, I realize how crucial they were in unconsciously combating this phenomenon. My first lesson, about how vital it is to not push limits too far, directly relates to preventing learned nonuse. If I had constantly pushed myself to do things that were too hard, too fast, I would have faced repeated failures. And those failures, day after day, could have easily led my brain to conclude, 'This arm isn't working, let's just not bother.' Instead, by finding that crucial balance – pushing enough to challenge myself but not so much that I was constantly defeated – I avoided that negative feedback loop. Similarly, the lesson to give yourself grace and time was a huge factor. There were so many moments I wanted to give up, to just rely on my unaffected side because it was easier. But by being kind to myself, by acknowledging that recovery takes time and isn't linear, I gave myself permission to keep trying, even when progress was slow. It allowed me to celebrate the tiny victories – wiggling a toe, grasping a cup – instead of focusing only on what I couldn't do. This patience is essential to counter the immediate gratification of 'nonuse.' And of course, mindset matters! When I was stuck in a pessimistic cycle, it was easy to fall into despair and feel like using my affected side was pointless. Shifting my mindset to one of 'I can learn to handle this' was a game-changer. It fueled my motivation to engage with physical therapy and daily tasks, even when they felt impossible. This internal drive is what helps you push through the discomfort and effort required to reactivate dormant pathways, a direct counter to learned nonuse. Finally, human connection matters! Having a support system, whether family, friends, or therapists, kept me accountable and motivated. When you're struggling with learned nonuse, it's easy to isolate yourself and give up. But having people to cheer you on, to remind you of your progress, and to simply be there, provides that external push you sometimes need. They help you see beyond your current limitations and encourage you to keep engaging your affected side. So, for anyone navigating stroke recovery, be aware of learned nonuse. It's a real challenge, but by remembering these lessons – to respect your limits, be kind to yourself, cultivate a positive mindset, and lean on your community – you're already building a powerful strategy to overcome it and reclaim functionality.