What do you see in the picture?
The Noxious Orchard of Vice
Someone once told me the definition of Hell:
On your last day on Earth, the person you could have been meets the person you ended up becoming.
And day by day, you water your tree.
With every indulgence, every vice.
Close your eyes, creature, and with presence, ask yourself: What am I doing in my daily life that I know, in the long run, is ruining me? The answer comes instantly. You already know. You've always known.
Maybe it's what you eat. Maybe it's the endless scrolling on your phone before bed. Maybe it's your attitudes. Maybe it's the people around you. You asked, and now you consciously know. You know what's keeping you from reaching a higher happiness, a richer experience.
But do you change?
No.
You keep watering your Noxious Tree. And you keep going. And going.
The days pass. The months slip by. And suddenly, it's 2023.
What happened? To the gym? To learning that language? To taking that course? How much have you watered the Tree of Vice? It's grown tall. The rope tightens. This time, you realize: you need to stop watering it. You know it's ruining you, but you keep giving in.
But do you stop? Do you let it wither?
No.
And the years pass. Each day, it grows taller, its roots deeper, your Noxious Tree. The rope now cuts into your neck. And as time does, the years are gone. You're 80, and all this time, you've been watering it. You're dissatisfied. You groan at life. And how could you not, with a rope choking the air from your lungs?
It's your last day, and the noose has you by the neck.
You see someone approach. They look eerily like you. But no, they're different. This one smiles, stands taller, walks with an air of love.
What must they have achieved to carry themselves like that?
You envy them. You hate them.
They look you in the eye, and you understand. That person is who you could have been. But you chose to water your Noxious Tree.
And with a tear of regret, you leave this world.
Or, if you have the slightest shred of sense, you stop watering your Noxious Tree. You thank the great Viulet, and by simply refusing to succumb to those habits you know are killing you. The tree Withers and dies #art #toxiclife #symbols #growth #Lemon8Diary
You know that feeling, right? The one where you're doing something you know isn't good for you, but you just can't seem to stop? It's like your brain is playing a trick on you, an intricate 'puzzle' you can't quite solve. For me, that 'person c' – the version of myself who kept making those choices – felt like I was metaphorically in a deep-sea 'diving helmet,' isolated and unable to breathe properly, constantly 'watering a small tree' whose roots were slowly but surely tightening a 'rope tied from the tree to my neck.' The image from the article truly hit home for me, visually representing the insidious nature of 'self-destructive habits.' My own 'thinking process' to finally address these habits wasn't a sudden epiphany; it was a slow, sometimes painful, unraveling of that 'puzzle.' I realized the first step was to really see the rope. To acknowledge, without judgment, what I was doing and how it was impacting my life. It’s easy to gloss over our vices, to tell ourselves ‘just one more time,’ but true change starts with honest self-reflection. I began to ask myself, not in a blaming way, but with genuine curiosity: what triggers this habit? What am I seeking to gain, even temporarily, by engaging in it? For example, my endless scrolling before bed wasn't just a habit; it was a misguided attempt to decompress, which ironically left me more agitated. Breaking free from these patterns felt like trying to untangle a knotted 'puzzle' blindfolded. It wasn't about willpower alone; it was about understanding the underlying mechanisms of my behavior. I started experimenting with small changes. Instead of reaching for my phone, I'd pick up a book for five minutes. If I found myself overeating, I'd pause and ask, 'Am I truly hungry, or is this something else?' These micro-changes, though seemingly insignificant, began to weaken the grip of my 'Noxious Tree.' It was about consciously choosing not to water it, one small refusal at a time. Another crucial part of my 'thinking process' was recognizing that this isn't a linear journey. There will be days when the 'rope' feels tight again, when the urge to revert to old 'self-destructive habits' is overwhelming. That's part of the 'puzzle.' Instead of viewing these moments as failures, I learned to see them as data points. What was different that day? What triggered the lapse? This perspective helped me refine my strategies without falling into a spiral of self-reproach. It’s about building resilience, accepting imperfections, and always coming back to the choice to cultivate a healthier version of myself. Ultimately, solving this 'puzzle' of self-sabotage is an ongoing commitment. It's about consciously choosing to loosen that 'rope tied from the tree to my neck' every single day. The image of the 'person in the diving helmet' now reminds me not of being trapped, but of the clarity that comes from looking inward and having the courage to change course. It's about creating space for the person you could be, rather than despairing over the person you became. And trust me, the air tastes sweeter when you're not choking on regret.
