Testimony/healing
I guess maybe I should share little bit of my story!
I grew up in a toxic household. Where my mother is the toxic narcissist, “true narcissist “ as my sister puts it. And had a drunk dad!
I never got the luxury to know God growing up!
Anytime I wanted to read the Bible my mom barged in and ruined the vibe for me so I quit reading! She done that with anything I wanted to do! Cooking! Sewing! Diamond painting! Crocheting! Etc always ruined it for me and I quit!
And she did that up until I left when I. Turned 30!
The last thing she blamed me for was she wasn’t getting her remodeled done cause of me yet she refused to get started until I go to bed (I work nights so I have to sleep days, she could have done it while I was up all morning) and she blamed me for her and her bf break up, ( I know they are still together today), blamed me for getting rid of her dog (she still has that dog)
I said to myself enough was enough I need to get away! So I took all my cash savings to get away from her and left ! I had to do it without her or my grandma knowing about it.
Not long after, my cousin started getting the abuse cause I had refused to talk or see my mother. (This is what called “new supply”) they discard the old one and get new one . Only this time my cousin saw right through it and had to ask me and my sister about mom and my dad when they were married.
Idk who my mom got now unless it just her bf but she definitely being quit! They never do! They go off and find you!
Everything they can and I mean everything as long they are not getting caught to go to jail or get hurt themselves.
My relationship with God ? It good but I do sometimes feel like I’m failing! But more I read the Bible I know how God wants us to act. Even got several notebooks going for different subject.
“Man of God/husbands”
“Woman of God/wives/who I am”
^these notebooks will have notes on man and woman of God as well roles of Husbands and Wives in it how they should be treated etc! Which is definitely what my mother and father never taught me! Dad might have taught a few things what a father is but it overshadows what my mom did! Narcissistic people have a way to suppressed memories it away of control “oh that didn’t happen” “you remembered it wrong” or my mom line “she needs to stop lying”
I have a prayer journal and a journal on random things I learned of the Bible!
I read Genesis up to Ruth and in 1 Samuel now! Farthest I ever read! And I learned lots of stories, wars, the people!
I know I tend to go on and on with my mother but she really was toxic and I am healing! These past few months I been crying a lot! And thought of deep questions and thoughts. Reflecting back on the things that happened, it hurts! So don’t be afraid to let it out! It had help to get on social media groups and hear other stories! I got mine from FB .
I hope this will help someone in their life! In relationship with God or if you had trauma!
Navigating life after growing up in a toxic household marked by narcissistic abuse and neglect can be incredibly challenging. Many survivors find that healing involves not only distancing themselves physically from harmful environments but also addressing the deep emotional wounds left behind. This journey often includes rebuilding trust in oneself and in others. Keeping prayer journals and notebooks on spiritual subjects—as mentioned in the story—can be a powerful tool to process experiences and grow in faith. Many find comfort in studying biblical narratives, such as the stories from Genesis through Ruth and 1 Samuel, which illustrate human struggles, moral lessons, and God’s guidance. Narcissistic abuse survivors frequently grapple with distorted memories and gaslighting, where their truth is denied or dismissed. Acknowledging these tactics is a crucial step in reclaiming personal power and validating one’s experience. Support groups on platforms like Facebook allow survivors to share stories and gain encouragement, helping to combat isolation. Moreover, the concept of “new supply” in narcissistic relationships highlights how abusers seek new targets once prior victims assert boundaries or leave. Understanding this pattern helps survivors anticipate manipulation attempts aimed at them or loved ones and reinforces the importance of boundaries. Healing is not linear, and feelings of failure or setbacks in one’s relationship with God are common. Continued Bible reading and reflection can deepen knowledge of how faith supports resilience, forgiveness, and self-worth, especially when parental examples were harmful or absent. It is important to remind oneself that releasing pain through tears and reflective thought is part of emotional release and growth. Sharing stories authentically and embracing vulnerability can inspire others who are on similar paths. Remember, your healing journey is personal, valid, and worth the effort it takes.