Where has all the innocence gone?
A #picture is worth a 1000 #words but also #memories , not always the more warmfelt #moments . My #brother , Jonathan, hated me from the start. I felt our childhood story was similar to “Jacob & Esau” that I internalized why I was subjugated to all this hate? Although I was the eldest, he berated, harassed, was physically violent and it took me over 20 years to find the courage to file an order of protection, when my parents stood by and allowed his tormenting to persist. I didn’t succeed in getting a court order, but my former brother, finally stopped talking to me. I’ve had many years of grief, of a lack of normalcy, and not having a sibling I can rely, talk too, and feel loved 💕 by. I found this photo, by an adoptive grandma, 👵 before she passed away. I can’t even remember, when the good times were, and we falsely assume that children and innocence is synonymous. When many of us, have been suffering in an environment where we couldn’t escape the abuse we endured. I wish & pray to find chosen siblings to fill in the gap, that I don’t acquire as an adult. To go through life without family is a hole in the mind that is killing me 🧑
Growing up in a difficult family environment can profoundly impact one’s sense of self and ability to trust others. I can relate to the feeling of innocence lost too early—not from my own experiences exactly, but through witnessing the pain friends and loved ones have endured. It’s heartbreaking when those we expect to protect us instead become sources of harm or neglect. What truly struck me in this story was the comparison to "Jacob & Esau," evoking themes of rivalry and hurt that linger throughout a lifetime. Often, abuse from a sibling or close family member leaves invisible scars that are hard to explain to others, especially when parents or caregivers fail to intervene or dismiss the pain. In my experience and from what I’ve learned, healing from such trauma requires finding safe spaces and people who become the chosen siblings or family we never had. These connections can help repair the ‘hole in the mind’ caused by broken familial bonds. Support groups, therapy, and nurturing friendships can be crucial in rebuilding trust and rediscovering a sense of normalcy. The pain of not remembering any truly good times and feeling forced to endure years alone in grief is sadly common for those who suffer abuse at home. Yet, I’ve seen that hope remains alive when people commit to seeking out relationships based on love and mutual respect, no matter their origins. Sharing a meaningful photograph, like the one given by an adoptive grandma, reminds us that memories carry complex emotions—some painful, some cherished, but all part of our journey. In revealing vulnerability, this author also extends an invitation to others facing similar struggles: you are not alone, and it’s possible to create new bonds that bring healing and belonging. If you or someone you know is dealing with family abuse or estrangement, reaching out for professional help or trusted support can be a life-changing step. Remember, chosen family is not just a concept—it can be a real source of love and strength that transforms your path forward.
