Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
This phrase is often thrown around about #beauty . But how much as a #society do we actually #believe in it? On #snapchat , often #DLmen don’t want to show their face out of fearing of being rejected, and at times I’ve met guys who label themselves as average, but are gorgeous. Or those who believe they are attractive, and are not good looking to me. I’ve doubted, questioned, wrestled with my own beauty politics, as my self perception is poor, due to my body image not reflected in mainstream culture or needing external validation and not hearing from many of me seeming beautiful, since our queerphobic culture doesn’t permit men as much to give compliments to other transfemme bodies. Insecurity for me is a turn off, and I know because I’ve been stuck in that mindset, I cant therapize others, to held them see their own inner glow.
I've often reflected on the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and in my experience, this rings especially true in communities that face societal marginalization. From interacting with friends and acquaintances who label themselves as "average" despite possessing striking features, to noticing how external validation—or the lack thereof—impacts one's self-esteem, I've come to realize that perception is indeed a choice. The phrase "insecurities are ugly" resonates deeply because insecurity can cloud one's ability to recognize their own worth. Living in a culture where queerphobia limits open complimenting among men, especially towards transfemme bodies, creates a challenging environment for fostering positive self-image. Many of us silently wrestle with self-doubt and body image issues that mainstream culture rarely validates. Platforms like Snapchat serve as both spaces of connection and vulnerability; some DL men hesitate to share their faces, fearing rejection rooted in these beauty standards. What helped me personally was shifting focus from external appearances to nurturing an internal glow. This inner light isn't always visible to others but can be felt deeply once insecurity begins to fade. Therapy and peer support have been instrumental in this journey. Recognizing that everyone’s beauty is subjective and that our perceptions are shaped by societal messages allowed me to start dismantling harmful beliefs. Ultimately, embracing vulnerability and choosing self-compassion over judgment can transform how we see ourselves and each other. Beauty, influenced by our perceptions, insecurities, and social context, becomes less about conforming and more about authenticity and acceptance. Sharing these experiences openly encourages a culture where recognizing and celebrating diverse forms of beauty becomes the norm rather than the exception.
