I Graduate Tomorrow…
So many complex feelings
💭1) Lost my two best friends (they didn’t die, they’re just not real friends) so I’m going through this alone. Am I surprised, no. Alone is how I felt our whole friendship anyway. Most of the people I thought would be beside me, are gone. Per usual tho, not even offering a distant thought.
💭2) Took me 5 long years. I grew a lot but I also had to endure a lot. I felt like Job (from the Bible) I almost didn’t make it.
💭3) Would I do it again? Go through all this again?ABSOLUTELY NOT. If I could meet the few marvelous people I have met, without going through that ish, I would choose that option in a heartbeat. If I could grow mentally and spiritually without going through all this, I WOULD DO THAT TOO.
💭4) I try not to have regrets but I do regret staying longer than I should’ve; at my first college, in relationships, amongst the wrong ppl, in the facades I chose to put on to ignore the pain and to be more tolerable to other people’s palate.
💭5) I almost didn’t go to my own graduation, even tho it hurt me to see and cheer on other graduates. I told myself I just wanted to move on. To move past this and jump into the next, into the better. But it’s important to celebrate yourself. “Stop and smell the roses” they say. Yes, the ones covered in thorns. It’s been a thorny aah ride, yet “still I rise!”
💭6) So even though, this is not what I planned, I deserve to celebrate who I am and what I’ve achieved, not by my own might, but by the grace of God! I deserve to end this chapter, to close this book and that’s exactly what I will be doing. 👩🏾🎓
My graduation day was a whirlwind of feelings. While the original post touched on the complex emotions, I want to dive a bit deeper into what that truly means. There's the immense relief of finally being done, of letting go of late-night study sessions and looming deadlines. But then, there's also a bittersweet ache – saying goodbye to a chapter, even a challenging one, that shaped so much of who I am. It's a mix of immense pride and a quiet sadness for the endings, all while bubbling with excitement for the new beginnings. Like many, my college journey wasn't a straight line. There were moments of profound loneliness, feeling like I was navigating tough times without the support system I thought I had. It's easy to get caught up in comparing your journey to others, especially when social media shows everyone's highlight reel. But I learned that true resilience isn't about having a perfect journey; it's about getting back up, even when you feel completely isolated. Finding solace in small victories, and sometimes, just knowing you're not alone in feeling alone, can make a huge difference. I realized that my strength didn't come from external validation, but from within, from the sheer determination to keep moving forward despite the obstacles. The original post rightly emphasized the importance of celebrating yourself. For me, that meant actively choosing to embrace the moment, even if my closest friends weren't there in the way I'd imagined. It sounds simple, but picking out my *graduation outfit*, putting on that black *cap and gown*, and carefully arranging my red and blue stoles (especially the one representing my 'COLLEGE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES') felt like a powerful act of self-affirmation. That white tassel with the '*24*' charm wasn't just a number; it was a testament to every late night, every challenge overcome, and every ounce of resilience I mustered. It's about acknowledging your personal Everest, no matter what it looked like for you. It's about recognizing that you earned this, and you deserve to soak in that moment of triumph. Sometimes, the most meaningful celebrations are the ones you create for yourself, acknowledging the internal battles won and the person you've become through it all. Looking back, the growth wasn't just academic; it was deeply personal. I learned to trust my own judgment, to stand firm in my values, and to truly understand what 'still I rise' means. For anyone else on a similar emotional graduation journey, I'd say this: allow yourself to feel all the emotions – the good, the bad, and the utterly confusing. Don't let external circumstances diminish your achievement. Your journey is uniquely yours, and the strength you've gained from it is invaluable. Find a way to mark this milestone that feels authentic to *you*, whether it's a quiet reflection or a joyous gathering. This ending is just the beginning of a new chapter, and you're more prepared for it than you think. Embrace the complexity, celebrate your unique path, and step forward with the knowledge that you've overcome so much.