Why does he need them if he has me?

He’s always done this! He meets a group and starts hanging with them and our whole relationship gets messed up. I don’t need anyone else, he completes me so why does he need them? We’re already busy, but now I’m rearranging plans because he’s got “guys’ night” Friday or Sunday hangs. Those are just straight guys he sees at the gym, he hasn’t even come out to them. Still, he needs to hang with them outside the gym too. I’ve had enough. This happens every time he makes new friends. He’s backed off a few when I talked to him, but now it’s back. I said “them or me” he says he shouldn’t have to choose. Am I crazy?

#Letschat #Asklemon8 #Stirthepot #RelationshipBalance

2025/9/3 Edited to

... Read moreIt's common to feel conflicted when your partner starts spending more time with a new group of friends, especially if it seems to disrupt your relationship. Understanding that men often place significant value on their friendships with other guys can help ease some of the tension. The phrase from the image, "POV: men care more about the opinions of their boys than their girls or mothers," reflects a dynamic many experience but don't always talk about openly. Men often seek companionship and shared experiences with their male friends that differ from what they have with their partners. These friendships can provide a sense of identity, camaraderie, and support that is distinct from romantic relationships. This doesn't mean they love their partners any less; rather, it's about fulfilling different social and emotional needs. In healthy relationships, balancing "couple time" and "individual time" is crucial. Allowing space for "guys' nights" or outings with friends not only supports your partner's social needs but can also improve your relationship by reducing frustration from unmet social desires. Communicating openly about feelings of exclusion and setting boundaries together can ensure that both partners feel valued and secure. It's also important to recognize that rearranging plans to accommodate new friendships can become a source of resentment if it happens too often. Couples need to negotiate how these social engagements fit into their shared life without one person's needs consistently overshadowing the other's. If your partner resists choosing between friends and you, it may be helpful to explore the underlying reasons behind this stance. It could reveal fears or concerns about control, trust, or independence within the relationship. Seeking support through counseling or relationship coaching might help navigate these issues constructively. Ultimately, feeling "complete" with your partner doesn't negate the value of friendships. Embracing this perspective can empower both partners to grow individually and together, forging a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

19 comments

Tonnymeow🎃🍂's images
Tonnymeow🎃🍂

Girl he’s waiting for his one true love, his husband. They’re just not interested in him. The day a guy gives him right signals he’s out the door looney tunes style

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Zoe Jackson's images
Zoe Jackson

I think its good to be closer to your friends than to your lover. Relationships come and go but your best friends are with you forever

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