i am bad for saying no?

I saved for years to buy my first car, and now my mom and sister expect me to drive them everywhere — errands, appointments, airport runs — often without even asking first.

I’ve told them I’m happy to help when I can, but I can’t always be available. When I say no, they get upset and call me selfish. Last week I refused to drive my sister to a job interview because I had an exam, and she now blames me for “ruining her chance.”

Am I wrong for setting boundaries, or should I be sacrificing more since I’m the only one with a car?

#AskLemon8 #LetsChat #FamilyDrama

2025/8/12 Edited to

... Read moreBeing the only family member with a car often places an unintended burden on you, but it's important to recognize that setting boundaries is both healthy and necessary. Saying no does not mean you are selfish; rather, it shows you’re respecting your time and commitments, such as exams or work. Family members may not always understand your perspective, especially if they rely heavily on you for transportation. This can lead to feelings of guilt or accusations of being selfish. However, effective communication is key. Explain your schedule clearly and express your willingness to help when possible, but also assert your need for personal space and time. The OCR quote, "I refuse to be the 'family driver' now that I have a car," captures this common struggle. Many people face this dilemma and find it empowering to establish boundaries while still maintaining supportive family relationships. Consider alternative solutions such as sharing transportation responsibilities, encouraging your family members to seek other options like public transit or carpooling, or setting specific days when you can help. This way, you prevent burnout and resentment, ensuring your relationships remain positive and respectful. Ultimately, prioritizing your needs allows you to be there for your family without compromising your academic or personal goals. Setting clear, consistent boundaries helps reduce conflict and fosters mutual understanding within the family.

5 comments

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Bluecopper

How were they transporting themselves before your car? They can still have that same arrangement and keep you out of it.