A single reproach stays in your head longer than ten compliments?🧠

Ever... been watched many times, but only remembered for a moment.

But when he was reprimanded once, he repeated all day

Or just make a little mistake

The brain immediately concluded that

"We're not good enough."

"What we do is not good."

"People must be looking at us badly."

In fact, this does not always mean that we are weak.

But it's also about how the brain works.

📕 Catherine J.Norris, 2021.

Speaking of Negativity Bias,

Or the tendency of the brain to be more sensitive to negative than positive.

Simply put, our brain is not designed to be happy all the time, but it is designed to be "careful."

In the past, if the danger is overlooked, we may not survive.

So the brain makes negative things louder than good things to protect us.

But when living in the present life

The danger may not be the tiger or the danger in front of it.

It could become someone else's speech.

A mistake in the job.

Chat that he didn't answer

Or the eyes that we think he is judging us

That's why.

One reproach. It's easy to drown out compliments all day.

📗 Beck, Rush, Shaw and Emery, 1979.

Explain in CBT that many times negative thoughts are "automatic thoughts," they come up very quickly.

Until we accidentally believed it was the truth, like

"He doesn't answer. It means he doesn't like us."

"We missed. It means we're not good."

"If you do it badly, it means you fail."

Maybe the truth isn't that harsh.

But the brain is interpreting the same fear, the same experience.

Or our old beliefs about ourselves.

The problem is,

If we believe this idea often,

It could become a loop of thinking.

📘 Stenzel et al. 2025

Speaking of Repetitive Negative Thinking,

Or recursive thinking, like rethinking, worrying, blaming yourself.

This work found that CBT reduces this kind of loop thinking to a certain extent.

Because CBT doesn't force us to be positive, it invites us to come back and question our own ideas.

Try asking yourself

"Is this the truth, or is it just an interpretation?"

"Are we solving problems or are we aggravating ourselves?"

"If our friend finds this, will we talk to him this hard?"

Another very helpful idea is

📙 Self-compassion or compassion for ourselves, Kristin Neff of 2023 explains that being kind to yourself does not mean that we release ourselves, does not mean that we deceive ourselves as not guilty.

But it is to accept that

We are humans.

That misses, tires, and deserves understanding.

📒 and Han and Kim's meta-analysis work.

2023 found that self-compassion training

It contributes to small to moderate levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

So...

The day the idea deleted the full head

We don't need to believe every voice in our hearts immediately.

Some voices may not be the truth.

Some sounds may just be the brain being scared.

Being tired

Or trying to protect us in the wrong way

Let's ask yourself,

"Is this thinking helping us or is it hurting us?"

"Is there really evidence, or are we just scared?"

"Are we talking to ourselves too hard?"

We don't have to be positive all the time.

But maybe start by thinking more realistic.

And talk to yourself a little more gently.

Because not every thought in the head

Will always be true about ourselves.

Save to open and read on the day that the heart begins to speak badly to myself.

Sometimes the brain remembers bad things for too long despite a lot of good things. Don't give up on brain mechanisms despite our own body. 🫠🫶

# Psychology # Heal heart # Develop yourself # Talk to yourself # SelfGrowth