Wow, reading your story really hit home for me. It’s incredibly tough when you’ve worked your butt off for everything, securing a scholarship and building a successful career (a FAANG job, no less – that’s amazing!), only to face expectations from family members who didn't put in the same effort. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy load for a long time, starting with helping your mom with house stuff and contributing to expenses from a young age. Many of us, especially women, can relate to that feeling of being implicitly expected to be the caregiver or the responsible one, while others might get a pass. Your decision to go LC (low contact) and focus on your own future was a powerful act of self-preservation, and it clearly paid off. You built a life for yourself and were able to provide a safe, relaxing haven for your mom – that's a huge win! Now, about your father and brothers… The situation with your dad wanting to move into the apartment over your garage, expecting to "rest" like your mom, but without contributing, is a classic family dilemma. It’s not selfish to ask someone, even a parent, to contribute to the household and do chores if they're living under your roof, especially when you've achieved your success through sheer hard work. You’re not asking him to do anything you haven't already done yourself, and you've already given so much, both financially and through your labor, from age 14-18. That's a significant amount of "gratitude and pay" already given, as you rightly point out. Setting boundaries with family, specifically with parents and brothers, can be incredibly difficult, and the backlash you're experiencing – being called "selfish, disrespectful, and ungrateful" – is unfortunately a common tactic from those who feel entitled to your resources. It's designed to make you feel guilty and second-guess yourself. Remember, your feelings are valid. You’ve created a life where your mom can relax, your child is cared for, and your husband is learning to cook food from your country – you've built something beautiful! Protecting that peace and stability by asking for reciprocal effort isn't wrong. Here’s a little perspective: your offer for your dad to move into the apartment over your garage, *with conditions*, is a generous one. You’re not cutting him off; you’re offering support *with dignity and mutual respect*. Perhaps framing it not as you needing his money, but as him needing to participate in the household as an adult, can help. It's about maintaining a healthy dynamic where everyone contributes, rather than enabling a sense of entitlement. It’s tough, but standing firm on your boundaries is a sign of strength, not selfishness. You are definitely Not the A-hole here.