My testimony🌷

(Trigger Warning: suicide)

I had always thought beating addiction would be my testimony… it wasnt until recently that i realized my testimony has never stopped. Each hardship I go through, every ounce of pain, every tear, every heart ache…. God has shown me time and time again that he is there, working in me even during the hardships.

A little over two years ago we moved into a home, during this time, yall I tell you my patience was tried. Just about everything that could go wrong with a home went wrong. From no water, washers that kept breaking, sewage issues, flea infestations, roof leaks, so on and so forth. All leading up to a terrible mold issue. To the extent of it growing in and on furniture. I did everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I could possibly do to get rid of it but it kept coming back. At this point it had affected my mental health severely. I was struggling with anxiety and depression, to the point to where a couple of times I had considered it would be easier to just not be here (on earth) anymore.

I began going to church Everytime the doors were open, listening to Christian podcasts, Christian music, reading my Bible every chance I got. At this point, in all honesty, I was consuming too much in hopes to find an answer.

One night my mind was racing, I was washing dishes had a podcast going praying, crying, singing… the works.. and all of a sudden “Be still” was laid on my heart. And the verse “be still and know that I am God” came to mind. I turned off the sink and the podcast and I just went and sat in quiet, I asked the Lord to come sit with me. It wasn’t but about two seconds later I had felt peace. The peace I had been trying to obtain myself for weeks by all the songs and church services and podcasts… I felt that very peace rush over me. At that moment I had hope. Were all of my problems solved? No. But it was at that moment that I was reminded who MY God was.

Though my problems were not solved at that very moment, I had hope for tomorrow. My eyes were opened to a new way of thinking, what was God trying to teach me right now? During this time it was laid on my heart to read the book of James. (If you know, you know) But basically the book of James teaches “the trying of your faith worketh patience”. This was the first book of the Bible I have ever read all the way through and it’s still so awesome to me that, that was the book that was laid on my heart…. The Lord knew I needed it during that time.

Fast forward a bit, I needed a safe place for my boys to go and my sister needed a babysitter for the summer. It all worked out, we had a safe place to go and I had a way to make money to save up for a new place or camper.

Last weekend we purchased our first camper. Though to others it may not seem like much… to me it is yet another answered prayer. My first owned home, a safe place for our boys.

Blessed, grateful, amazed is all an understatement and only the beginning of my feelings towards the situation we just went through. I have learned that God will give you what you need at the time you need it. I have learned that only God himself can give you peace. You can go to church all you want, listen to all the gospel music you want. But until you fully give your life over to God and TRULY put your trust in him, you will never obtain true peace. He is the answer. Not church, not songs. But a true relationship with our Father.

To anyone who doesn’t know God as their personal Lord and Savior and long for true peace, a peace that surpasses ALL understanding… there is no better time than now.

All you have to do is believe. Ask for forgiveness of your sins, and ask the Lord to come into your heart and save you…. Isn’t that wonderful? One simple act could lead to a LIFETIME AND BEYOND, of happiness, and peace.

Thank you God. For all you have done for us. Thank you God for sending your son, to die on the cross so that I can know a love so pure and true. Thank you for hardships, for I know that they are molding me into who YOU want me to be.

#testimony #mygod #godlovesyou #godlywomen #godheals