sorry for the upcoming rant
Out of all the jobs I’ve worked at, I can’t count all the times where I felt disrespected and useless. For some context, I picked up Chipotle as a pt job because they were the only ones to actually follow through with my application. As an autistic person, working at a fast paced food service establishment can be pretty difficult but I push through no matter how hard it can be. I don’t tell anyone about my autism but that’s for another story.
Because I recently started at Chipotle, I obviously can’t work as fast as everyone yet. Today, I went in and everything was fine as usual, but the last hour of my shift went downhill. I’m still trying to figure out what is wrong and how I can take on the issue.
But anyway, I get back from my break, asked the manager on duty what I needed to do before I leave and did as I was told. This is where I may not make sense in my post because I do struggle with communicating when I’m upset. And honestly, I can’t figure everything out yet as far as how everyone there sees me.
But from what I experienced today, I don’t think anyone here likes me. I keep to myself and try to work as hard as I can to be good at what I’m doing. I try to make customers happy, I try to complete orders on time, I try to help keep the lobby and BOH clean. I have my ServSafe certification so of course I hold high expectations of myself as far as my work performance.
So at the end of my shift the MOD told me to clean up the lobby so I go ahead and do that. But nobody else is okay with that and got told to get back on the line. But when I do go back to the line, I literally could not do anything and was pushed aside, so the only thing I was able to do was prep customers’ bowls. Not scoop anything, but only taking out a bowl for them. I saw that there was no point in staying if I wasn’t allowed to do anything so I tried to walk away but they got mad at me and I went back to my spot. This was literally almost at the time I was going to leave. I felt the tears coming but I stayed quiet and did my job the best I could. And this was not the manager getting mad at me, but my coworkers.
I think it depends on what type of people I work with, but I honestly feel way more comfortable working with certain people, like when I had my Starbucks job, a lot of the partners there were neurodivergent just like me and I felt like I was part of the team. I feel the same way at my full time job. Everyone there is super nice and I can do my thing without feeling judged. Chipotle, however, I don’t know what it is to make everyone there not like me.
It really shouldn’t affect me because I am busting my back to get my student loans paid. I need the hours and the money, but if I’m uncomfortable then it is going to be hard for me mentally and emotionally to focus on my job.
Anyway, rant over, sorry for all of this. I’m not the biggest fan of venting online or in person but this is really bothering me and I don’t know what to do. I job hopped too many times and can’t afford to quit another one. ((yesterday i was feeling so stressed, i was thinking about how i wished to be an animal crossing villager because they don’t do anything but just vibe. except sable. sable is a hard worker and i give massive respect to her lol))
#autisticadult #embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #autisticspectrumdisorder #adultlife
The raw, honest truth is, working as a neurodivergent person can REALLY suck sometimes. It's not just about the tasks themselves; it's the invisible battles we fight every single day in workplaces designed for neurotypical brains. My experience at Chipotle, feeling constantly misunderstood and struggling to keep up, really highlights this. For many of us, the sensory overload alone can be debilitating. Imagine a busy restaurant line – the constant clatter of dishes, the shouting of orders, bright fluorescent lights, the smell of food, and the pressure of a fast pace. This isn't just annoying; it can be physically painful and mentally exhausting, making it incredibly hard to focus or even communicate effectively. I remember days where I'd go home feeling so drained, not just from the work, but from simply existing in that environment. Then there's the communication aspect. Neurodivergent individuals often process information and express themselves differently. What might seem like a simple instruction to one person can be a confusing, multi-layered puzzle to another. I've often found myself struggling to articulate my needs or understand subtle social cues, leading to misunderstandings or feeling like I’m constantly messing up. The feeling of being pushed aside or told to do something, only to then be unable to do it because of unspoken rules, is incredibly frustrating and isolating. Another significant challenge is the expectation of 'fitting in' socially. Workplaces often have unspoken social dynamics and expectations that can be incredibly difficult for neurodivergent people to navigate. Trying to understand office politics, subtle jokes, or team-building activities can feel like trying to solve a complex algorithm without the right instructions. This often leads to feeling alienated, as if you're constantly observing from the outside, never truly part of the team, as I felt at Chipotle. Finding a neuro-inclusive environment, like the Starbucks experience I briefly mentioned in my rant, makes all the difference. When colleagues understand and accommodate different ways of thinking and working, it transforms the entire experience. It's not about special treatment; it's about equitable treatment and valuing diverse strengths. Simple things like clear instructions, designated quiet spaces, or understanding that some days are harder than others can create a world of difference. If you're also a neurodivergent person struggling in the workplace, remember you're not alone. "It's okay to not be okay" is a quote I often tell myself. Advocate for yourself when possible, seek out allies, and explore workplaces that genuinely embrace diversity. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is validate our own experiences and recognize that our struggles are real and often stem from systemic issues, not personal failings. We deserve environments where our unique contributions are valued, not just tolerated.