5 mindset, creating boundaries

Setting Boundaries requires five main frames:

1) Loving yourself is not selfish.

2) Scope is to protect the relationship, not relegation.

3) The right to refuse is normal.

4) We cannot control the actions of others but can choose to cope; and

5) Guilt is common at the start.

Thought 1: Loving yourself is not selfish.

Taking care of your feelings and time first doesn't mean we're mean to others.

If we don't power ourselves first, we don't have the strength to help anyone.

The scope allows us not to be so exhausted that accumulated rage in our hearts.

Idea 2: Scope is to build lasting relationships.

The line is clear, letting those around you know what can and can't be done.

A good relationship requires comfort on both sides. Not one side is uncomfortable.

Boundary telling reduces the problem of long-term conflict.

Idea 3: Denial is a righteous right.

The word "no" is a complete sentence in itself. No need to find a long excuse.

We are not responsible for the expectations of everyone on this planet.

Every response makes us lose our identity and precious time.

Idea 4: We can't control anyone but ourselves.

Our job is to tell the boundaries politely and clearly.

If others will resent it when we set boundaries. That's his problem, not ours.

We have a duty to choose how to respond and protect our own space. [1]

Idea 5: Guilt is just a visitor and then leaves.

The first phase of laying boundaries. We often feel guilty for being unfamiliar.

Guilt doesn't mean we're doing wrong, but it does mean we're changing old behavior.

Give yourself time to adjust and accept this early awkwardness.

Some people don't appreciate what we give.

He's just used to getting it from us.

The more we give without boundaries,

He even thought this was normal.

From the word

"Thank you for helping."

One day could become

"Why Doesn't This Time Help?"

And that's where we have to come back and ask ourselves...

We're helping him.

Or is carrying his life instead of him?

Being considerate is not wrong.

It's not wrong to help people.

But if saving someone

Causing us to suffer

Waste of money, waste of time, waste of happiness.

Or cause us to neglect our own lives.

Maybe what we need to stop

Probably not "being nice."

It's about giving to forget yourself.

Remember...

It helps as much as it helps.

Give as much as you can.

And do not love anyone until having to abandon yourself

Because having boundaries doesn't make us mean.

It means...

Finally, we began to appreciate ourselves.

- Gimmy Spiritual Journey

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